If I had a mote of musical talent or ability, I'd be making music instead of churning out song parodies. I've been indulging in that vice since May 2004, when a friend of mine pointed me to amiright. After a few false starts, I discovered I have a facility (of which I stress the facile aspect) for crankin' 'em out.
For better or worse, I'm a big fan of rhetorical and literary devices and polysyllabism, so I'm not reluctant to resort to them, often at the expense of pacing perfection's pursuit. Neither am I squeamish about neologizing. My themes are frequently unseemly--seamy, even. I'm also kind of a lex maniac. Occasionally I insert foreign-language fragments into my parodies or, worse, write entire parodies in pidgins. I know just enough French, Spanish, and German to be dangerous.
I love mixed drinks, doubles, greens, grill, marriages, and media. But I love mixed metaphors even more. And I believe, to paraphrase Paul Krassner, founder/editor of "The Realist," that syntax is Silly Putty. That credo was alliteratively summed up by Bob Gomez, in a comment about one of my parodies: "syntactically strangled into submission." (Alliteration [to say nothing of parentheticalness] is my inamorata.) Conversely, or perhaps concomitantly, as an lapsed copy editor, I'm fairly punctilious about punctuation.
Although some people insist that two-thirds of a pun is P-U, I believe that "pun" is half of "pundit," which I am not. But I do like to have fun with puns, the more punishing the better.
Much of the talent on this site is incredible, and I salute the satiric sages who grace these pages. I get many of my ideas by reading and envying their submissions.
A big word of thanks to Chuck for starting and maintaining the site and making this all possible.
Song Parodies -> Lyrics
P stands for Pacing, F stands for How Funny, and O is for Overall Score.
Click on a column header to resort the page (ascending order, click again for decending order). Resorting on large pages might take a minute on slower machines or Internet Explorer.
| Parody Title | Original Title | Performer | Submitted | P | F | O | H |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kerry, Man! | Carrie Ann | Hollies | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 117 | |
| Drive the War | Drive My Car | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 83 | |
| Now He's Beleaguered | I'm a Believer | Monkees | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 64 | |
| Hidin' Hoods | Li'l Red Riding Hood | Sam the Sham | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.8 | 77 | |
| Rummy, Rummy, Rummy | Yummy Yummy Yummy | Ohio Express | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.3 | 95 | |
| Spreeing for the Benefit of Mr. Right | Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite | Beatles | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 69 | |
| Mosque of Hate | Chapel of Love | Dixie Cups | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 99 | |
| Fixing a Hole | Fixing a Hole | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 69 | |
| Getting Better? | Getting Better | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 68 | |
| Lindens Are the Banes of John's Sans Sun | Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds | Beatles | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 73 | |
| Mecca | Mecca | Gene Pitney | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 71 | |
| Sgt. Graner's Bonehead Hard-Club Band/A Little Threat from My Friends | St. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/A Little Help from My Friends | Beatles | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 344 | |
| Looking for Scum | Lookin' for Love | Waylong Jennings | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 70 | |
| Moon Image | Moon Shadow | Cat Stevens | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| Opus, I Dei'd It Again | Oops! I Did It Again | Britney Spears | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 81 | |
| Chalabi | Let it Be | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 71 | |
| Condi | Windy | The Association | 3.0 | 3.3 | 3.0 | 61 | |
| Without Him | Within You Without You | Beatles | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 54 | |
| Condoleeza | Carmelita | Warren Zevon | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 65 | |
| Why Sharon, Huh? | My Sharona | The Knack | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 67 | |
| A Day in the Strife | A Day in the Life | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 76 | |
| Je T' Mene | Je T'Aime | Serge Gainsbourg | 2.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 80 | |
| Love That Pita | Lovely Rita | Beatles | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 60 | |
| These Boobs Are Made for Squawkin' | These Boots Are Made for Walkin' | Nancy Sinatra | 4.7 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 82 | |
| Each Meal $64 | When I'm 64 | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 67 | |
| These Boobies are from Dow Corning | Oh What a Beautiful Morning | Rogers & Hammerstein | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 69 | |
| Luger Luger | Sugar Sugar | Archies | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 70 | |
| Hey, Jute | Hey Jude | Beatles | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 74 | |
| Twisted Et [ymology] | Mr. Ed theme song | Unknown | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 92 | |
| Another Trick by De Gaulle, Part Dien Bien Phu | Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 | Pink Floyd | 3.0 | 2.0 | 3.0 | 75 | |
| Fix It with Rhin | Ticket to Ride | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 61 | |
| Flick It Aside | Ticket to Ride | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 57 | |
| Timothy | Timothy | The Buoys | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 100 | |
| 'Beaux!' Dit Sartre | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| Beauvoir/Sartre | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 57 | |
| Bloody Sadr! | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 56 | |
| Body's Fatt'r | Bodhisattva | Steely Dan | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 53 | |
| Sixteen Going on Seventeen | 16 Going on 17 | Rogers & Hammerstein | 2.4 | 2.1 | 2.6 | 708 | |
| Dough-Ray-Me | Do-Re-Mi | Julie Andrews/R&H | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 151 | |
| Lab'al Vise | Edelweiss | Christopher Plummer/R&H | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 67 | |
| Sappy Crap | Happy Jack | The Who | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 74 | |
| My Least Favorite Things | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews/R&H | 3.8 | 4.4 | 4.2 | 123 | |
| The Sound of Moving | The Sound of Music | Julie Andrews/Rogers & Hammerstein | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 111 | |
| NIcky, Your C**ze is Dumber | Rikki, Don't Lose That Number | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 53 | |
| Sippin' My Twelfth Bock o' the Day | Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay | Otis Redding | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 68 | |
| Gouda Gouda | Sugar Sugar | Archies | 2.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 63 | |
| Cheese Shame! | Freeze Frame | J Geils Band | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 60 | |
| Happy to Tether | Happy Together | The Turtles | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 70 | |
| Mixed Metaphor | Killin' Floor | Electric Flag | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 65 | |
| Murph the Divin' Pagan | Puff the Magic Dragon | Peter, Paul, and Mary | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 72 | |
| Stinkin' Sitzmarks! | SInk the Bismark | Johnny Horton | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 87 | |
| Simp'rin' Simon | Simple Simon | 1910 Fruitgum Company | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 83 | |
| Schlep This Bone | Steppin' Stone | Monkees | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 55 | |
| Vacation | Vacation | Connie Francis | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 95 | |
| Cocoa, Moe! | Kokomo | Beach Boys | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.5 | 95 | |
| Rove, Rove, Rove, Your Throat | Row, Row, Row Your Boat | Unknown | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 104 | |
| Deus Ron, Ron | Da Do Ron Ron | The Crystals | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 61 | |
| Limbaugh Rock | Limbo Rock | Chubby Checker | 3.8 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 69 | |
| Holy Water | Dirty Water | Standells | 3.0 | 2.8 | 3.0 | 70 | |
| Swami's Rim | Swanee River | Stephen Foster | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Beet It | Beat It | Michael Jackson | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 377 | |
| I Wanna Grow Spuds | I Want a New Drug | Huey Lewis | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 74 | |
| Here Comes the Dun | Here Comes the Sun | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 65 | |
| Hold Those Withers | Stormy Weather | Frank Sinatra | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 59 | |
| Ohms in the Range | Home on the Range | Traditional | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 56 | |
| That's Amperage | That's Amore | Dean Martin | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 67 | |
| Volta's Rays | Volare | Dean Martin | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 62 | |
| I Am the Wal-Mart | I Am the Walrus | Beatles | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 91 | |
| Nineteen Merchants in a Shakedown | Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown | Rolling Stones | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 60 | |
| Penney's Pain | Penny Lane | Beatles | 4.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 55 | |
| Snoop John A. | Sloop John B. | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 129 | |
| Killing Ashcroft's Knees--Bent Too Long | Killing Me Softly with His Song | Roberta Flack | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 125 | |
| Skilling Whore | Killing Floor | Electric Flag | 4.5 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 68 | |
| Lay, Kenny Lay | Lay Lady Lay | Bob Dylan | 2.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 69 | |
| The FERC's Wrong | The Work Song | Traditional | 1.5 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 59 | |
| SBC | 1-2-3 | Len Barry | 3.3 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 121 | |
| We Are Worldcom | We Are the World | Lionel Richie | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 100 | |
| Cod Only Go | God Only Knows | Beach Boys | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 67 | |
| I'm Cooking Fugu | I'm Looking Through You | Beatles | 3.2 | 3.5 | 3.2 | 60 | |
| Brainless Flack | Paint It Black | Rolling Stones | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 72 | |
| Saints in Sack | Paint It Black | Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 93 | |
| Tainted Crack | Paint It Black | Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| Can't Leverage Their Breaks, They Can't | I'm Enery the Eighth, I Am | Herman's Hermits | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 54 | |
| Turn', Turn', Turn' | Turn Turn Turn | Byrds | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 100 | |
| Fallow Field o' Beans | Yellow Submarine | Beatles | 1.5 | 1.0 | 1.5 | 58 | |
| His Blank Noodle Comes in Handy | Yankee Doodle Dandy | James Cagney | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 66 | |
| Rubies Today | Ruby Tuesday | Rolling Stones | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 55 | |
| Limes Have Come Today | Time Has Come Today | Chambers Brothers | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 75 | |
| Mush of Carrots | Love and Marriage | Frank Sinatra | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 53 | |
| Wokkin' the Dog | Walkin' the Dog | Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 50 | |
| Pissed Trees | Misty | Johnny Mathis, Frank Sinatra, others | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 53 | |
| They Do Rhone Clones | Da Do Ron Ron | Crystals | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 62 | |
| Applejack | Happy Jack | The Who | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 82 | |
| Callow Bung Pluggers | Hello, Young Lovers (from 'The King and I') | Rogers and Hammerstein | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 72 | |
| Greenspan | Greenfields | Brothers Four | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 62 | |
| Who Put the Bomb? | Who Put the Bomp? | Barry Mann | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 312 | |
| Iraq Charade | This Masquerade | George Benson | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 64 | |
| Spoonerful | Spoonful | Cream | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 67 | |
| Homophones | Telephone | Chaka Khan | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 97 | |
| Little Dude's Coup | Little Deuce Coupe | Beach Boys | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 65 | |
| Stupidcatalepticfratdicklexiconatrocious | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Mary Poppins Soundtrack | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 82 | |
| I Sawed Her Antique Chair | I Saw Her Standing There | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 75 | |
| I Am the Worst Carpenter | If I Were a Carpenter | Johnny Cash/Tim Hardin | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 81 | |
| Sundered My Thumb | Under My Thumb | Rolling Stones | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 60 | |
| Kelp on Flounder | Help Me, Rhonda | Beach Boys | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 62 | |
| Whelk or Flounder? | Help Me, Rhonda | Beach Boys | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 54 | |
| Sedentary Man | Solitary Man | Neil Diamond | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 69 | |
| If Your Fish Is Cooked in Lard | When You Wish upon a Star | Disney | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 82 | |
| Fridge Holding Bubbling Water | Bridge over Troubled Waters | Simon & Garfunkel | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 53 | |
| Sackman | Taxman | Beatles | 4.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 66 | |
| Saxman | Taxman | Beatles | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| In Back | Get Back | Beatles | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 79 | |
| Jackson | Jackson | Johnny Cash | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 70 | |
| Growin' More Bile | Goin' Mobile | The Who | 3.0 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 58 | |
| I Could Have Lanced All Night | I Could Have Danced All Night | Alan Jay Lerner | 2.3 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 62 | |
| Cheney, Ghoul | Chain of Fools | Aretha Franklin | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 101 | |
| Slime Energy Pigs Raped My Land | I'm Henry the 8th, I Am | Herman's Hermits | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 69 | |
| Gent Whose Scent Sure Reeks at Fox | Twentieth Century Fox | The Doors | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 62 | |
| It Is Such a Memory Hog, Windows | How Much Is That Doggie in the Window? | Patti Page | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| You Can't Blame the Doggie | How Much Is That Doggie in the Window? | Patti Page | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 63 | |
| Fellin' Her Fig Tree | Eleanor Rigby | Beatles | 2.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 74 | |
| It's My Rheum | In My Room | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 70 | |
| Neverland Love | Never, My Love | The Association | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 52 | |
| Duckin' Spree | Bucket T | The Who | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 78 | |
| They Hold Me in Stock Holes | It's Only Rock 'n' Roll | Rolling Stones | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Pillory | Timothy | Buoys | 4.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 90 | |
| Affixing a Pole | Fixing a Hole | Beatles | 3.3 | 3.7 | 3.3 | 78 | |
| Substitute | Substitute | The Who | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 65 | |
| Nerf Titties | Surf City | Jan & Dean | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 53 | |
| Gimcracks | Get Back | Beatles | 3.3 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 60 | |
| Bric-a-Brac | Happy Jack | The Who | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 83 | |
| Gewgaws, Gewgaws | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 71 | |
| Buying Baubles | TIny Bubbles | Don Ho | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 87 | |
| A Tchotchke Fan | Walk Like a Man | Four Seasons | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 58 | |
| Kitsch World | Rich Girl | Hall & Oates | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 88 | |
| Wallow in Trinket Hoard | Follow the Drinking Gourd | Traditional | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 86 | |
| Jetsam | Jet Song | Bernstein/Sondheim (from West Side Story) | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 64 | |
| This Flotsam | This Old Man | Traditional | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 58 | |
| Chimichanga | Chim Chim-eree | Mary Poppins soundtrack | 4.4 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 132 | |
| Ax Chants | Taxman | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 68 | |
| Desk Burrito | Desperado | Eagles | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 85 | |
| Sheep'll | People | Barbra Streisand | 3.5 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 72 | |
| Goat Busser | Ghostbusters | Ray Parker, Jr. | 2.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 86 | |
| Sultans Who Swing | Sultans of Swing | Dire Straits | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 76 | |
| Cathedral | Cabaret | Liza Minelli | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 77 | |
| Wild Child | Wild Child | The Doors | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 72 | |
| Besmirched, Bathed Not, and Beast Kindred | Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered | Rodgers/Hart (from Pal Joey) | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 61 | |
| Suburban Wife's Sick-of-Home Blues | Subterranean Homesick Blues | Bob Dylan | 4.0 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 73 | |
| Mail-House Schlock | Jailhouse Rock | Elvis | 3.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 85 | |
| Bomb Imams | Barbara Ann | Beach Boys | 2.0 | 2.5 | 2.0 | 83 | |
| Bridge over Gum That's Rotten | Bridge over Troubled Water | Simon & Garfunkel | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 63 | |
| Ridge is a Bumbling Cipher | Bridge over Troubled Water | Simon & Garfunkel | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Numb My Nethers | Come Together | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| It's in His Bris | It's in His Kiss | Betty Everett | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 65 | |
| Earle, You'll Be a Woman Soon | Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon | Neil Diamond | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 74 | |
| She's a Man | I'm a Man | Yardbirds | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 82 | |
| Garmentmakerville | Margaritaville | Jimmy Buffet | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 61 | |
| I Love Frocks and Stoles | I Love Rock and Roll | Joan Jett | 3.0 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 55 | |
| Tranny Boy | Danny Boy | Traditional | 4.3 | 2.3 | 2.7 | 330 | |
| Grifter Robertson | Mrs. Robinson | Simon & Garfunkel | 3.0 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 52 | |
| Lawyers, Gum, and Mommy | Lawyers, Guns, and Money | Warren Zevon | 3.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 205 | |
| Mikhail's Roe Boat Made a Score | Michael, Row the Boat Ashore | Traditional | 3.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 66 | |
| Texas Laws Says | I Fought the Law | Bobby Fuller Four | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 64 | |
| Nice to See These Things | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.7 | 63 | |
| Lucre, Lucre | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 3.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 68 | |
| Cisco Slid | Cisco Kid | War | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 77 | |
| Long-Hold Stock | Long Live Rock | The Who | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 53 | |
| Sandy | Mandy | Barry Manilow | 4.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 73 | |
| Carbuncle on the Knuckle | Bungle in the Jungle | Jethro Tull | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 54 | |
| Spooge Full of Screwworms | Spoonful of Sugar | Mary Poppins soundtrack | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| Festerday | Yesterday | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 60 | |
| Eight Heils, 'Mein'! | Eight Miles High | Byrds | 3.8 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 73 | |
| Ah-mare-ree-ka | America (from West Side Story) | Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.0 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 98 | |
| Maria | Maria (from West Side Story) | Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 67 | |
| Whelp! | Help | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 62 | |
| Dems Wish for a Kerry Christmas | We Wish You a Merry Christmas | Traditional | 3.8 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 68 | |
| He Drops to Steal Some Gizzards | We're Off to See the Wizard | Wizard of Oz soundtrack | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 68 | |
| Hannity | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 69 | |
| It's the TIme for Rush | There's a Kind of Hush | Herman's Hermits | 4.1 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 65 | |
| Waggin' the Dog | Walkin' the Dog | Rufus Thomas/Rolling Stones | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 63 | |
| Porn to Be Filed | Born to Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 85 | |
| Pusillanimousanonymousonesgivingvoters | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Julie Andrews | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 82 | |
| Hays Goes | Hey, Joe | Jimi Hendrix | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 67 | |
| Prime Your Puppet | I'm Your Puppet | Marvin Gaye | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 58 | |
| In Gepetto | In the Ghetto | Elvis | 4.7 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 101 | |
| When Bowdler Edits | It's Now or Never | Elvis | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 91 | |
| Tony Comstock | Crocodile Rock | Elton John | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 70 | |
| Luther, Luther | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 66 | |
| Luthier, Luthier | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 71 | |
| Spry Pope | High Hopes | Frank Sinatra | 3.8 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 59 | |
| Lame It Was to Call It Nova | Blame It on the Bossa Nova | Eydie Gorme | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 75 | |
| Boring and Mild | Born to Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 87 | |
| Arbitrary | Beyond the Sea | Frank Sinatra | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 70 | |
| Hookah, Hookah (sugg. by Johnny D) | Sugar Sugar | Archies | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 79 | |
| 'Shugge, 'Shugge | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 118 | |
| Cougar, Cougar (sugg. by Johnny D) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 3.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 81 | |
| Kludger, Kludger (sugg. by Johnny D) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 55 | |
| Kruger, Kruger (sugg. by Steve K.) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.6 | 86 | |
| Neutered, Neutered (sugg. by Guy) | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.9 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 57 | |
| Schmoozers, Schmoozers | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 52 | |
| Shucker, Shucker | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 66 | |
| Tuba, Tuba | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 78 | |
| Tuchis, Tuchis | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 4.9 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 67 | |
| Pus Mop | Bus Stop | Hollies | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 81 | |
| Set It Free | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| I've Thundered Miles | Five Hundred Miles | Peter, Paul, & Mary | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 63 | |
| Res'nant Alley Runs Day | Pleasant Valley Sunday | Monkees | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 54 | |
| Psyllium | Cecilia | Simon & Garfunkel | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 59 | |
| A White, Blade-Laden Whale | A Whiter Shade of Pale | Procol Harum | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 67 | |
| Only the Moby | Only the Lonely | Roy Orbison | 4.8 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 60 | |
| Aren't Seals Pretty? (from West Side Story) | I Feel Pretty | Bernstein/Sondheim | 3.9 | 4.4 | 3.9 | 83 | |
| Polyunsaturated Pam | Polythene Pam | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 60 | |
| Worcestershire Carameled | Winchester Cathedral | New Vaudeville Band | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 69 | |
| Don't Fry Your Member | Try to Remember (from The Fantasticks) | Harvey Schmidt/Tom Jones | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 53 | |
| I'm Walled In | I'm Walkin' | Fats Domino | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| The Piste | The Twist | Chubby Checker | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 77 | |
| Stented, He's Fixed | 76 Trombones | Meredith Wilson | 4.1 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 100 | |
| Marryin' Libertarians | Marian the Librarian (from The Music Man) | Robert Preston | 4.0 | 4.8 | 4.5 | 68 | |
| Till I Turn Blue | Till There Was You | Meredith Wilson | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 61 | |
| Trouble | Trouble (from The Music Man) | Meredith Wilson | 3.7 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 67 | |
| Makes Me Queasy | Take It Easy | Eagles | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 71 | |
| Ergot-got-got | Hot, Hot Hot | Buster Poindexter and His Banshees of Blues | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 61 | |
| Serfin' USA | Surfin' USA | Beach Boys | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 59 | |
| Myrmidon | Carry On | Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 58 | |
| Leader of the Pack | Leader of the Pack | Shangri-Las | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 91 | |
| Corn for Silage | Born to Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 54 | |
| I'm Getting Married in the Morning | I'm Getting Married in the Morning | My Fair Lady soundtrack | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 2931 | |
| I'm Getting Martyred in the Morning | I'm Getting Married in the Morning | My Fair Lady soundtrack | 3.7 | 3.2 | 3.7 | 1492 | |
| Frankenstein | I Feel Fine | Beatles | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 69 | |
| Sewn Man | Soul Man | Sam & Dave | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 80 | |
| Aphasia (the correct version) | Aja | Steely Dan | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 74 | |
| Aphasia | Aja | Steely Dan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 63 | |
| Orally | Aura Lee | Traditional | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.6 | 95 | |
| Adrenal Jeannie | I Dream of Jeannie | Stephen Foster | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 74 | |
| Yasser, He Killed Babies | Yes, Sir, That's My Baby | Traditional | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 55 | |
| Fools on The Hill | Fool on the Hill | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 73 | |
| I Wanna Hoe Your Land | I Wanna Hold Your Hand | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 79 | |
| Rake the Terrain | Take the A Train | Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 62 | |
| Is This Yiddish Right? | The Kids Are Alright | The Who | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 93 | |
| Bola | Lola | The Kinks | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 58 | |
| Baisez Moi Beaucoup | Besame Mucho | Dean Martin, others | 3.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 558 | |
| Babylon Sh*tstorm | Babylon Sisters | Steely Dan | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 56 | |
| Catch the Kids | Catch the Wind | Donovan | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 63 | |
| Hirsute Girlie-Man | Hurdy Gurdy Man | Donovan | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 79 | |
| Expelled Jello | Mellow Yellow | Donovan | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 73 | |
| Done-Flyin' Avian | Sunshine Superman | Donovan | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 64 | |
| Donkey, Shane | Danke Shoen | Wayne Newton | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 470 | |
| Poll Me | Hold Me | Clay Aiken | 3.8 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 78 | |
| Satyr Action | Satisfaction | Rolling Stones | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 53 | |
| Back from Old Land of the Czar | Back in the USSR | Beatles | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 79 | |
| Sloe Downed | Slow Down | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 54 | |
| You're Gonna Booze And Hurl | You're Gonna Lose That Girl | Beatles | 4.9 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 65 | |
| Enjoyed The Bird | Joy To The World | Three Dog Night | 3.5 | 3.8 | 3.5 | 56 | |
| Bear Baitin' | Barefootin' | Robert Parker | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 77 | |
| Flight Rabbits | White Rabbit | Jefferson Airplane | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 46 | |
| Like Rabbits | White Rabbit | Jefferson Airplane | 4.6 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 58 | |
| Where My Cats Go Poo-Poo | Chatanooga Choo Choo | Glen Miller | 4.9 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 80 | |
| Feeding a Hart in Texas | Deep in the Heart of Texas | Hank Thompson | 3.2 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 72 | |
| Fecal | People | Barbra Streisand | 4.1 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 77 | |
| Airway to Septum | Stairway to Heaven | Led Zeppelin | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 100 | |
| What a Gob of Ungual Pus | What If God Was One of Us? | Joan Osborne | 4.7 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 73 | |
| Ketchup In A Can | Catch Us If You Can | Dave Clark Five | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 81 | |
| Oh, Teresa | Mona Lisa | Nat King Cole | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 62 | |
| An Imp Tossable | It's Impossible | Elvis | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 99 | |
| Meshugge, Shaq | Sugar Shack | Jimmy Gilmer & The Fireballs | 4.8 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 67 | |
| Razzman | Jazzman | Carole King | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 65 | |
| Spin Town | Swingtown | Steve Miller Band | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Swing Vote | Swingtown | Steve Miller Band | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 54 | |
| He's A Slut For Jihad Pests | The First Cut Is The Deepest | Cat Stevens (aka Yusuf Islam) | 2.8 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 69 | |
| Fry Me Some Liver | Cry Me a River | Ella Fitzgerald | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 73 | |
| Got No Rhythm | I Got Rhythm | George Gershwin | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 88 | |
| Halfwit Bliss: No More Banned Guns! | Happiness Is a Warm Gun | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 68 | |
| The NRA | YMCA | Village People | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 84 | |
| Billy Love Dongs | Silly Love Songs | Paul McCartney | 4.4 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 58 | |
| Allawi | Alley Oop | Hollywood Argyles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 75 | |
| Rummy's Mind | Summertime | George Gershwin | 4.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 60 | |
| Dung Me | Dang Me | Roger Miller | 4.2 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 59 | |
| Secrete Anus Grams | Secret Agent Man | Johnny Rivers | 4.9 | 4.0 | 4.3 | 63 | |
| Meat Swells | Michelle | Beatles | 4.7 | 3.5 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| Runs His Mouth. . .Stumbles | Run Through the Jungle | Credence Clearwater Revival | 4.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| Vox Stylin' (for Agrimorfee) | Rock Island | Music Man soundtrack | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 61 | |
| The Herd Got in the Grapevines | I Heard It Through the Grapevine | Marvin Gaye | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 74 | |
| Reincarnation | Anticipation | Carly Simon | 4.9 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 62 | |
| Quimpeder | Guinnevere | Crosby, Stills, & Nash | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Melba This Morning | Helplessly Hoping | Crosy, Stills, & Nash | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 76 | |
| Poonlance | Moondance | Van Morrison | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| Rude Oaf the Redneck Reigns Here | Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer | Everyone | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 85 | |
| The Bush Nuts Song | The Christmas Song | Mel Torme | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 75 | |
| White. . .Ship's Mast | White Christmas | Irving Berlin | 4.7 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 57 | |
| Mr. Wasteland | Mr. Spaceman | Byrds | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 74 | |
| December Schlong | September Song | Lotte Lenya | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 59 | |
| De Sade Song | A Sad Song | Ten Years After | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 71 | |
| Just the Two of Us | Just the Two of Us | Bill Withers | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 102 | |
| I'm a Honed Masochist | I'll Be Home for Christmas | Gannon, Ram, Kent | 3.4 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 129 | |
| Jongleur's Lyre | Jambalaya | Hank Williams | 4.3 | 4.5 | 4.7 | 63 | |
| You're Jake Gittes in Chinatown | Santa Clause Is Comin' to Town | Traditional | 4.6 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 63 | |
| Rubber-Lined Room | Summertime Blues | Eddie Cochran | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 66 | |
| Stented Freak, Naive Geek | Ebony, Ivory | Paul McCartney | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 52 | |
| Stented Freak, Naive Geek | Ebony, Ivory | Paul McCartney | 4.5 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 51 | |
| They Trampled Him During the Running | Battle Hymn of the Republic, The | Julia Ward Howe | 4.8 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 74 | |
| Jumps from the Cache | Jumpin' Jack Flash | Rolling Stones | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.8 | 59 | |
| Sox Will Take the Prize | Devil in Disguise | Elvis | 4.5 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 91 | |
| I Want Your Secs | I Want Your Sex | George Michael | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 62 | |
| Frothing and Foaming | Frosty the Snowman | Traditional | 4.4 | 4.6 | 4.5 | 68 | |
| Misaimed Ballpeen Hammer | Pretty Ballerina | Left Banke | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 85 | |
| He Came Upon A Midnight Beer | It Came Upon A Midnight Clear | Traditional | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 53 | |
| Moaner Lisa | Mona Lisa | Nat King Cole | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 68 | |
| Mad, Rude Bison | Bad Moon Rising | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.7 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 57 | |
| Snoozy Queue | Suzie Q | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 48 | |
| Outsource, Outsource | New York, New York | Frank Sinatra | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 72 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 63 | |
| Blistered Tanned Man | Mr. Sandman | Chordettes | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.8 | 160 | |
| Cake, Sirs, Ça Sera | Que Sera Sera | Doris Day | 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.0 | 77 | |
| Lady Mammal Aid | Lady Marmalade | LaBelle | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 120 | |
| Reign Propped Up: Corrupt Saud Dickheads | Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head | B.J. Thomas | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 54 | |
| Reign | Rain | Beatles | 4.9 | 3.6 | 3.9 | 52 | |
| Who'll Stop This Reign? | Who'll Stop the Rain? | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.7 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 101 | |
| Babble of New Cue L'ar | Battle of New Orleans | Johnny Horton | 4.3 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 71 | |
| Autodidact's Garden | Octopus's Garden | Beatles | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 65 | |
| Coup de Grâce | Monster Mash | Bobby 'Boris' Pickett | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 64 | |
| Dray Team | Daydream | Lovin' Spoonful | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 66 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner, Part II | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Part II | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 137 | |
| Who Cut the Cheese Now? | Who Can It Be Now? | Men at Work | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 72 | |
| Whose Cant Will Please Now? | Who Can It Be Now? | Men at Work | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 55 | |
| Three Martinis | Three Marlenas | Wallflowers | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 74 | |
| Upper Lip Is Weak | Up On Cripple Creek | The Band | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 78 | |
| Log Right In | Walk Right In | Rooftop Singers | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 59 | |
| Brain Dead in Ohio | Four Dead in Ohio | Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 67 | |
| Got the Fool Again | Won't Get Fooled Again | The Who | 4.2 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 77 | |
| La Vie on Hose | La Vie en Rose | Edith Piaf | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 63 | |
| Boogers in the Morning | Sugar in the Morning | Andrews Sisters | 4.5 | 3.5 | 3.4 | 82 | |
| Blake Gone Through (and Huxley Besides) | Break on Through (to the Other Side) | The Doors | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 81 | |
| Crippled Ship | Crystal Ship | The Doors | 3.6 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 76 | |
| Sought Par Aid | Soft Parade | The Doors | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 59 | |
| I Was of Very Good Cheer | It Was a Very Good Year | Frank Sinatra | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 62 | |
| Zipped Up My Crowbar | Zip-a-dee-doo-dah | Song Of The South Soundtrack | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 58 | |
| Jabbertalky | Jabberwocky | Lews Carroll | 4.1 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 65 | |
| White Crick Mass | White Christmas | Irving Berlin | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 52 | |
| Cali.'s Clown | Cathy's Clown | Everly Brothers | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 65 | |
| Desiccated Swallower of Passion | Dedicated Follower of Fashion | The Kinks | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 60 | |
| Main Course Caused Ptomaine | A Horse With No Name | America | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 60 | |
| Bad Bunion | Glass Onion | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 68 | |
| I'm Garglin' Aqua Vita | In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida | Iron Butterfly | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 77 | |
| Down in the Pumproom | Up on the Rooftop | Chrismas Carol | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 71 | |
| Mai Tai | My Guy | Mary Wells | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 69 | |
| The Cognac-Swigging Story of Bunghole-Fill Bill | The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 58 | |
| My Sherry I Pour | My Cherie Amour | Stevie Wonder | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 64 | |
| It's The Most Gun-is-full Time Of The Year | It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year | Andy Williams | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 69 | |
| Mark Apparel Up for Spring | Hark, the Herald Angels Sing | Wesley, Mendelssohn, Cummings | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.7 | 73 | |
| Have Yourself a Merdy Spittle Kiss-Ass | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas | Judy Garland | 3.5 | 3.4 | 3.2 | 68 | |
| Jingo Belle Flop | Jingle Bell Rock | Bobby Helms | 3.9 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 79 | |
| Paid to Take the Pix, Man | Baby, You're a Rich Man | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 61 | |
| I'm Only Seeping | I'm Only Sleeping | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 59 | |
| From Eiffel | If I Fell | Beatles | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 53 | |
| Lazy! Mañana?! | Lady Madonna | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 61 | |
| Martyred, My Deere | Martha, My Dear | Beatles | 4.2 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 55 | |
| Have Ablutions | Revolution | Beatles | 3.9 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 57 | |
| He's On Tomorrow's Show | Tomorrow Never Knows | Beatles | 3.9 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 67 | |
| Calibrated Eating | California Dreaming | Mama and Papas | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 89 | |
| Cantharides | Candyman | Sammy Davis, Jr. | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 71 | |
| Flawed Work on the Wall | Flowers on the Wall | Statler Brothers | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 80 | |
| Boneward Hound | Homeward Bound | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 66 | |
| Incensed at Pedestals | Incense and Peppermints | Strawberry Alarm Clock | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 74 | |
| Twenty-Three (Please Read First!) | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 87 | |
| Goose Liver | Moon River | Henry Mancini | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 80 | |
| Clyster-Moon Rite | Mr. Moonlight | Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 67 | |
| My Grill | My Girl | Temptations | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 66 | |
| SUV, Big Fat Car | Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da | Beatles | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 75 | |
| Degrease Me | Release Me | Englebert Humperdinck | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 82 | |
| I Am Woman | I Am Woman | Helen Reddy | 3.2 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 165 | |
| I Wanne Be Berated | I Wanna Be Sedated | Ramones | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 63 | |
| Stop With the Hurl! | Top of the World | Carpenters | 4.0 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 59 | |
| Mute Troupe's Quiet | Zoot Suit Riot | Cherry Poppin' Daddies | 4.5 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 66 | |
| Dahmer | Donna | Richie Valens | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 70 | |
| I Saw Mommy Shivving Santa Clause | I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus | Traditional | 3.8 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 88 | |
| We Work Three Shifts | I Saw Three Ships | Traditional | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 50 | |
| Gin Is Hell | Jingle Bells | Christmas Carol | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 85 | |
| Littered with Junk | Little Brown Jug | Traditional | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 60 | |
| My Colon Wind's on Fire | The Call the Wind Maria | Paint Your Wagon soundtrack | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 78 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner, Part III | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Part III | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| We Fish from This Ferry Isthmus | We Wish You a Merry Christmas | Traditional Christmas Carol | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.7 | 82 | |
| Who Put the Spawn? | Who Put the Bomp? | Barry Mann, Gerry Goffin | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 69 | |
| I'm So Tired | I'm So Tired | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 62 | |
| He's Drunk, Santa Claus | Here Comes Santa Claus | Christmas song | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 155 | |
| Silage Fight | Silent Night | Christmas Carol | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 89 | |
| Flockin' Synthetic Christmas Trees | Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree | Brenda Lee | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 72 | |
| Cross-Dress, Ye Married Gentlemen | God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen | Christmas Carol | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 112 | |
| The NBA | YMCA | Village People | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 77 | |
| Bagels I Have Had of Rye | Angels We Have Heard on Higy | Christmas Carol | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 80 | |
| Wokkin' Blintzes, Winter Squash, and Lamb | Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland | Traditional | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 54 | |
| Glove Me, Do | Love Me Do | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 66 | |
| They Named It After Cecil Rhodes | Why Don't We Do It in the Road | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 57 | |
| Into a Quiver Is Robin Hood | Over the River and Through the Woods | Someone Late for Thanksgiving | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 79 | |
| Chestnut Marriage | Chestnut Mare | Byrds | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 81 | |
| Found Out About Ewe | Found Out About You | Gin Blossoms | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 68 | |
| Pill Daily | Bill Bailey | Many | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 73 | |
| The Deck Falls | Deck the Halls | Christmas Carol | 4.6 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 135 | |
| A Little Down? Huff Meth, My Friend | O Little Town of Bethlehem | Christmas Carol | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.9 | 80 | |
| All You Need Is Dove | All You Need Is Love | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 90 | |
| I Hate How You Glove Me | I Love How You Love Me | Bobby Vinton | 4.0 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 58 | |
| Then He's Kneading Something | If I Needed Someone | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 51 | |
| Woe, Holey Knight | O Holy Night | Christmas Carol | 4.9 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 91 | |
| Ow, Tannin' Balm! | O Tannenbaum | Christmas Carol | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 73 | |
| But Your Burp Can Singe | And Your Bird Can Sing | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 66 | |
| Deep Doo-Doo | Dear Prudence | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 83 | |
| Girdle | Girl | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 72 | |
| I've Just Interfaced | I've Just Seen a Face | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 65 | |
| No Refried | No Reply | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 53 | |
| Northeastern Wood | Norwegian Wood | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 56 | |
| Papal Backliders | Paperback Writer | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 58 | |
| Papal Backslider | Paperback Writer | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 60 | |
| La Marchandise | La Marseillaise | Traditional | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 65 | |
| Bagels in the Morning | Angel of the Morning | Merilee Rush | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 92 | |
| Beat Screws with Your Tool | Be True to Your School | Beach Boys | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 68 | |
| I Lock the Wine | I Walk the Line | Johnny Cash | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 76 | |
| Nose Wiped on My Wet Glove | Roses Are Red, My Love | Bobby Vinton | 4.8 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 64 | |
| Drips Away | Drift Away | Dobie Gray | 4.2 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 64 | |
| B Cups | Because | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 85 | |
| I Want to Bell You | I Want to Tell You | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.5 | 57 | |
| I'll Cry' His Head | I'll Cry Instead | Beatles | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 55 | |
| Hate Junk Food | Love You To | Beatles | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 60 | |
| The Bird | The Word | Beatles | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 60 | |
| Deer, Bear, and Every Mare | Here, There, and Everywhere | Beatles | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 59 | |
| Nose-Hair Man | Nowhere Man | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 65 | |
| Lunge for Your Wife | Run for Your Life | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 52 | |
| Your Work's Seamy | You Won't See Me | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 55 | |
| Boy, What a Jerk! | Joy to the World | Three Dog Night | 3.1 | 2.9 | 3.0 | 58 | |
| NIbblin' Latin Loup-Garou | Little Latin Lupe Lu | Mitch Ryder | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 74 | |
| Mix the Paint Thick | Little Saint Nick | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 60 | |
| Humping Cupid | Something Stupid | Frank, Nancy Sinatra | 4.3 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 64 | |
| The Bush Family Ills Me | The Beverly Hillbillies theme | Beverly Hillbillies TV program | 3.5 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 155 | |
| Brew Christmas | Blue Christmas | Elvis Presley | 3.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 81 | |
| Little Jack Horner | Down on the Corner | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 72 | |
| When I had a Hummer | If I Had a Hammer | Trini Lopez | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.8 | 66 | |
| Mocha Lotion | Loco-Motion | Little Eva | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 87 | |
| Silver Cells | Silver Bells | Numerous | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 78 | |
| Treason of Shrub's Bitch | Season of the Witch | Donovan | 2.8 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 59 | |
| Quagmire | Fire | Pointer Sisters | 2.3 | 2.1 | 2.1 | 98 | |
| Misanthrope | High Hopes | Frank Sinatra | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 54 | |
| George | More | Frank Sinatra | 2.6 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 56 | |
| Snore | More | Frank Sinatra | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 52 | |
| He Kneed the Little Christmas [Sprite] | We Need a LIttle Christmas | Traditional | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 69 | |
| Lean Ain't from Custard | Mean Mr. Mustard | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 57 | |
| Stumbling | Something | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 53 | |
| Stun Gun | Sun King | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 50 | |
| Springs of Bed Decay | Things We Said Today | Beatles | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 55 | |
| Bait | Wait | Beatles | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 52 | |
| Mirth Day | Birthday | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 61 | |
| Lax-Held Slipp'ry Hammer | Maxwell's Silver Hammer | Beatles | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 61 | |
| Unsightly Sore | The Night Before | Beatles | 4.2 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 54 | |
| What Grows On? | What Goes On? | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 60 | |
| Wile E. Retard and His Veep | While My Guitar Gently Weeps | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 57 | |
| I'll Knead You | I Need You | Beatles | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 56 | |
| Eyes Darting | Oh Darling | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 65 | |
| Please Grease Me | Please Please Me | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 56 | |
| Shrink Takes Your Wealth | Think for Yourself | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 57 | |
| Block a Rocket | Dr. Robert | Beatles | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 59 | |
| Keen Timbre's Mean | Green Tambourine | Lemon Pipers | 3.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 73 | |
| You're Work-Shirking Louts! | We Can Work It Out | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 61 | |
| We're Going to Hide But Will Not Flay | You've Got to Hide Your Love Away | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 47 | |
| He Hasn't Got Some Novocaine | I Haven't Got Time for the Pain | Carly Simon | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 48 | |
| Shakin' Hair with Briskness | Takin' Care of Business | Bachman-Turner Overdrive | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 51 | |
| I'll Be Gone for Christmas | I'll Be Home for Christmas | Traditional | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 53 | |
| If I Only Had Some Pain! | If I Only Had a Brain | Wizard of Oz sountrack | 3.8 | 2.6 | 2.6 | 79 | |
| Try These Pants, Sir | Tiny Dancer | Elton John | 4.9 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 57 | |
| Glockin' Out My Back Door | Lookin' Out My Back Door | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.1 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 57 | |
| Chancin' Rancid Meat | Dancing in the Street | Martha and the Vandellas | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 76 | |
| Just Broth for Me | Don't Bother Me | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.0 | 55 | |
| I'm Crossfire'd | I'm So Tired | Beatles | 4.2 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 51 | |
| Rupert Gives Us Lies | Judy in Disguise | John Fred & His Playboy Band | 4.6 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 75 | |
| Yellow as Lemon | Hello, I Love You | The Doors | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 59 | |
| Riders Help Block Torts | Riders on the Storm | The Doors | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 53 | |
| Creepy Gonzales | Speedy Gonzales | Pat Boone | 3.5 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 82 | |
| In My Oven | All My Lovin' | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.3 | 3.7 | 69 | |
| Lunch Meat | Love Street | The Doors | 4.2 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 66 | |
| On Bratwurst | On Broadway | Drifters | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.7 | 63 | |
| I Like Plaice | There's a Place | Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 64 | |
| From My Oven | All My Lovin' | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 79 | |
| The Gaffer | The Rapper | Jaggerz | 4.0 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 66 | |
| I Gotta Beat Meat | I Gotta Be Me | Sammy Davis, Jr. | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 79 | |
| Goat Writhin' in the Sty | Ghost Riders in the Sky | Marty Robbins | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 79 | |
| Itchy Shoe Sparks | Itchykoo Park | Small Faces | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 57 | |
| Little Bit on Sole | Little Bit o' Soul | Music Explosion | 4.4 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 72 | |
| File | Smile | Nat King Cole | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 62 | |
| I Farted and Smoke. . . . | I Started a Joke | Bee Gees | 3.1 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 124 | |
| Genes | Jean | Oliver | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.6 | 87 | |
| Thar She Blows: I've Told My Secret | Do You Want to Know a Secret? | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 63 | |
| He Wears Sarongs | It Won't Be Long | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 66 | |
| Trust in Invagination | Just My Imagination | Temptations | 4.8 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 62 | |
| All My Gut Peeks Through | All I've Got to Do | Beatles | 2.2 | 2.2 | 2.2 | 65 | |
| Devil in Disguise | Devil in Disguise | Elvis Presley | 2.5 | 2.2 | 2.4 | 70 | |
| Do You Believe in Mammon? | Do You Believe in Magic? | Lovin' Spoonful | 3.8 | 4.0 | 3.8 | 62 | |
| Crown Down | Downtown | Petulia Clark | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 75 | |
| In the Nates | In the Navy | Village People | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 67 | |
| Three Koi in a Fountain | Three Coins in a Fountain | Frank Sinatra | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 55 | |
| Goin' Like the Dodo | Going to a Go-Go | Smokey Robinson and the Miracles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 66 | |
| My Second Has Got No Gun | I Second That Emotion | Smokey Robinson and the MIracles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 61 | |
| They Keep a-Twangin' On | You Keep Me Hangin' On | Supremes | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 62 | |
| Seen at Graceland | Baba O'Riley | The Who | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 73 | |
| Ova, the Bane: Roe | Over the Rainbow | Judy Garland/Wizard of Oz soundtrack | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 75 | |
| He Popped Eye, His Name Was Sam | Popeye The Sailor Man | Cartoon Show Theme Song | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 91 | |
| I Will Try My Moon. . . | Fly Me to the Moon | Frank Sinatra | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 69 | |
| Can You Loan Some Tonight? | Are You Lonesome Tonight? | Elvis Presley | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 92 | |
| To Lug Somebody | To Love Somebody | Bee Gees | 4.4 | 4.1 | 4.3 | 63 | |
| Mounds of Silage | Sound of Silence | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.6 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 52 | |
| Bingen | Bingo | Traditional | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.4 | 80 | |
| Right Moos | Night Moves | Bob Seger | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 73 | |
| Crust Rimes on the Ancient Mariner, Part IV | The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Part IV | Samuel Taylor Coleridge | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 46 | |
| Love to Toss Back Some Beam (The Quest) | The Impossible Dream (The Quest) | Man of La Mancha soundtrack | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 60 | |
| Manchild Who Maunders | Man of La Mancha | Man of La Mancha soundtrack | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 63 | |
| Manchild Who Maunders | Man of La Mancha | Man of La Mancha soundtrack | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 63 | |
| Voltaren | Volare | Dean Martin | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 72 | |
| Gal Fee | Alfie | Dionne Warwick | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 61 | |
| Golfing | Alfie | Dionne Warwick | 4.3 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 73 | |
| Bacon Love | Baby Love | Supremes | 4.2 | 4.4 | 4.2 | 108 | |
| Bills Go Up, Big F*ckup | Build Me Up, Buttercup | Foundations | 3.3 | 3.5 | 3.3 | 94 | |
| Nebbish | Cherish | The Association | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 55 | |
| Can't Take the Ice Off This Wound | Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You | Frankie Valli | 4.2 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 74 | |
| Toad-Lick Blues | Roadhouse Blues | The Doors | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 61 | |
| This Knot Is Uvular | It's Not Unusual | Tom Jones | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 62 | |
| Get a Skirt That Looks So Fine | Get Me to the Church on Time | My Fair Lady soundtrack | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 98 | |
| Some Sex-Chatting Evening | Some Enchanted Evening | Perry Como | 4.6 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 64 | |
| Won't Get Food Again | Won't Get Fooled Again | The Who | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.4 | 70 | |
| My Waif | My Way | Frank Sinatra | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 71 | |
| Mass, He Chews It | Massachusetts | Bee Gees | 3.8 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 74 | |
| Sprayin' the Hive | Stayin' Alive | Bee Gees | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 65 | |
| I Feel My Girth Move, 1 | I Feel the Earth Move | Carole King | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 75 | |
| I Feel My Girth Move, 2 | I Feel the Earth Move | Carole King | 3.8 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 70 | |
| Boxer's Concerto | Lovers' Concerto | The Toys | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 77 | |
| Legumes Concerto | Lovers' Concerto | The Toys | 4.6 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 87 | |
| Rising is the Corn | Riders on the Storm | The Doors | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 57 | |
| Writhing in the Dorm | Riders on the Storm | The Doors | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.4 | 57 | |
| I Will Flee for Miles | I Can See for Miles | The Who | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 74 | |
| I've Fleas | I'm Free | The Who | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 84 | |
| Harp-Daze Night | Hard Day's Night | Beatles | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 71 | |
| I Should Have Owned Fetters | I Should Have Known Better | Beatles | 4.3 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 57 | |
| Raptor-Food Delight | Afternoon Delight | Starland Vocal Band | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 80 | |
| Squealin' 'Cause He's Reared | Reelin' in the Years | Steely Dan | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 66 | |
| I Hear, the Crew's Sick | I Can Hear Music | Beach Boys | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 68 | |
| Isn't Abba from Sweden? | In a Gadda da Vida | Iron Butterfly | 4.7 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 74 | |
| I'll be Watching You | Every Breath You Take | The Police | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 83 | |
| Breakin' Rocks Is Hard to Do | Breakin' Up Is Hard to Do | Neil Sedaka | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 62 | |
| I Fought God's Law | I Fought the Law | Bobby Fuller Four | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 61 | |
| Jailhouse Rocks | Jailhouse Rock | Elvis Presley | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.5 | 65 | |
| Rancid Pork and Hurl | California Girls | Beach Boys | 4.7 | 4.6 | 4.5 | 59 | |
| Butcher, Butcher | Sugar, Sugar | Archies | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 87 | |
| Dizzy | Dizzy | Tommy Roe | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 62 | |
| Doctor Strangelove | Doctor Robert | Beatles | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 68 | |
| Kane | Rain | Beatles | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 67 | |
| Iss Ein Bischen Wiener, Diener, Mit Ein Glas Gruen | Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Biki | Brian Hyland | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 137 | |
| A Mare in this Pie | American Pie | Don McLean | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.4 | 57 | |
| Surreptitious Mines | Suspicious Minds | Elvis Presley | 4.6 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 57 | |
| Wipe Room | White Room | Cream | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 72 | |
| Block Sphinctery (Log Is in Me. Whew!) | Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom) | Perry Como | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 76 | |
| I'll Be Seeping Goo | I'll Be Seeing You | Frank Sinatra | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 60 | |
| But She Loves Herb | And I Love Her | Beatles | 3.8 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 62 | |
| Man, I Love Herbs! | And I Love Her | Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 66 | |
| That's My Glove, Sir | And I Lover Her | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 74 | |
| Unhappy So I'll Rant at You | I'm Happy Just to Dance with You | Beatles | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 53 | |
| Cell Rings High | Tell Me Why | Beatles | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 53 | |
| It Ain't Mead, Babe | It Ain't Me, Babe | Bob Dylan | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 79 | |
| Feng Girl | Young Girl | Gary Puckett and the Union Gap | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 71 | |
| Done For on Road | One for the Road | Frank Sinatra | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 56 | |
| Lip It | Whip It | Devo | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 65 | |
| Lipids | Whip It | Devo | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 71 | |
| Rip It | Whip It | Devo | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 80 | |
| Came It Out: the Glossolalia | Blame It on the Bossa Nova | Edie Gorme | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 65 | |
| I'm Heading for That Boulder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 61 | |
| It's So Wet on This Polder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 76 | |
| Put More Heads on the Poles, Kurtz | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 66 | |
| Putz, Your Head's on My Shoulder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.9 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 63 | |
| Take Your Meds or You'll Smolder | Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 63 | |
| 28 Teeth Bridge Song (Feelin' Toothy) | 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 224 | |
| Wooden Chips | Wooden Ships | Crosy, Stills, and Nash | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 54 | |
| Shitsy Bitsy Spyware | Itsy Bitsy Spider | Traditional | 4.9 | 4.3 | 4.5 | 83 | |
| I Hand-Help Myself | I Can't Help Myself | Four Tops | 4.1 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 74 | |
| Someday You'll Crimp Your Thumb | Someday My Prince Will Come | Disney | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 140 | |
| One Day The Gimp Was Hung | Someday My Prince Will Come | Disney | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 66 | |
| Shoonerisms: Spugar | A Spoonful of Sugar | Mary Poppins soundtrack | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 76 | |
| Litotes | Let It Be | Beatles | 4.5 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 149 | |
| Me Drill Epistrophe with Glee | She's Still A Mystery to Me | Lovin' Spoonful | 4.8 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 72 | |
| Assonance | At the Hop | Danny and the Juniors | 3.1 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 951 | |
| Then I Plotzed | At the Hop | Danny and the Juniors | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 182 | |
| Homophones Are Strange | Home, Home on the Range | Traditional | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 69 | |
| Anaphora/Anna, Fork-a! | That's Amore | Dean Martin | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 197 | |
| Must--a Kosher Wok for Meat | Just a Closer Walk with Thee | Traditional | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 57 | |
| Hack off His Arms and Legs | Back in His Arms Again | Supremes | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 73 | |
| Rockettes Man | Rocket Man | Elton John | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 63 | |
| Hack Off His Arms and Legs | Back in His Arms Again | Supremes | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 75 | |
| Rockettes Man | Rocket Man | Elton John | 4.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 60 | |
| This Hairpiece is for Trump | The Lady Is a Tramp | Frank Sinatra | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 72 | |
| Buy, Buy Love | Bye, Bye, Love | Everly Brothers | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 63 | |
| Weight's Up: Vittles, Soufflé | Wake Up, Little Susie | Everly Brothers | 4.9 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 55 | |
| I Fall; There's Bum-Stink Air to Recline Me | Always Something There to Remind Me | Dionne Warwick | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.8 | 85 | |
| Whiff, I Smell | If I Fell | Beatles | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 66 | |
| The Heifer | The Letter | Box Tops | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 74 | |
