Night time, this guy’s resident;
His mane is quite resplendent.
Goes out, severs happy gypsies,
Glugs forever—furtive, clever.
Night time, this guy’s resident.
Turns out that he’s lycanthropic—
What you see ain’t psychotropic.
Droolin’, he’s blood-dependent.

He’s gonna gobble eyes—
First, each one out he pries.
He ain’t happy—always sneering,
No time to be porno-leering;
He’s gonna gobble thighs.
Day time—just one of the fellas
Living as a guy who’s swell as
Others. . .living a lie.

He’s a wolfman who sunders glands;
He’s a wolfman, so run and scram!

Night time, this guy’s resident—
Evil, like vice-president
Who is never seen when it’s the
Daytime; he will live forever.
Night time, that guy’s resident;
Turn out that he’s sunshine-phobic
And he’s quite Bela Lugosic.
Droolin’, he’s blood-dependent.

His shtik: unalloyed lies;
Undead, he never dies.
He ain’t happy—always sneering
He’s someone you should be fearing.
His thick book: full of lies,
Lame write with nothing to tell us;
Of Colin, others, he’s jealous.
Mother’ with evil eye.

He’s a vampire who sunders glands,
He’s a vampire, so run and scram!

Night time, they’re both resident:
Wolfman, ex-vice president.
Each is never seen when it’s the
Daytime each will live forever. . .
Might die—there are precedents:
Turns out that for one, you go stick
A stake in the heart that don’t tick.
Fool him with silver bullet.

He’s a wolfman,
He’s a vampire. . . .