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Song Parodies -> "Most High Card’nal Clement IX"

Original Song Title:

"Oh My Darling Clementine"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Most High Card’nal Clement IX"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

In the Vatican and after
Alexander’d had his time…
got the seat o’ his St. Peter.
His moniker: Clement IX.
Rose-high card’nal, rose-high card’nal,
rose from card’nal…Clement IX.
A short-timer; tempus fugit,
dreadful short run: Clement IX.

High he got: cathedral aerie,
bright red shoes that looked so fine.
Up on top sat a strange top hat;
gladrags were for Clement IX.
Rose-high card’nal, so-high card’nal,
rose from card’nal…Clement IX.
A short-timer; tempus fugit,
dreadful short stint: Clement IX.

Often ducked in holy water
fingers—not after he’d dine,
but to wash feet of a sinner—
swell this dude, and mighty kind.
Rose-high card’nal, so nice card’nal,
Pope from card’nal…Clement IX.
A short-timer; tempus fugit,
dreadful short shift: Clement IX.

Ruby slippers like Dorothy’s
and with features aquiline.
Than other popes, he was slimmer,
’cause no hog was Clement IX.
Rose-high card’nal, bloat, fie! card’nal,
rose from card’nal…Clement IX
A short-timer; tempus fugit,
dreadful short term: Clement IX.

Not-full diner, hot bulls signer
on solid, not dotted, lines.
He was slated to not make it
past the age of 69.
Rose-high card’nal, rose-high card’nal.
So, bye, parted Clement IX.
A short-timer; tempus fugit,
dreadful short stretch: Clement IX.

In a churchyard, they planted ’im
in ground on which the sun shines.
There reposes he who dozes—
endless rest for Clement IX.
So, bye, parted, so, bye, parted,
low lies parted Clement IX.
A short-timer; tempus fugit,
dreadful short run: Clement IX.

There he’s RIPping, no more gripping on the reins is Clement IX.
His reign nipped in the bud; slipped in beneath clods was Clement IX.

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