Macy’s stomp has get me moanin’ on. . . .

Macy’s foray proved that I was a fool (such a fool):
the crowd was crass, craven and cruel (not there to crewel).
It started out with just a little trip;
when it was over, I had a big ligament rip.

You know, I’m more than a little lucky I still be;
I was treated ignominiously.

Macy’s stomp has get me moanin’ on;
the recovery period will be long.
Macy’s mauling spree put me in the U, IC.
Thank god the drugs were strong for treating me post-Macy’s stomp.

Macy’s stomp has get me moanin’ on;

Macy’s post-Thanksgiving Day sale was goin’ on;
I knew all the good stuff would soon be gone.
But as soon as the doors opened down there (I got a scare):
it was as if I had entered a dragons’ lair (ripped out was my hair).
Boots and shoes and clogs and clod[hopper]s laid my scalp bare. . .
body-mauled, treatment-shoddy tawdry affair.

But I’m in the pink ’cause of the pharmacy—
it’s just like take-out but ain’t a food dispensary.

Macy’s stomp has get me moanin’ on;
Security inside the mall wasn’t strong.
Macy’s mauling spree not beneficial to me.
The anodynes last long. . .
thank god there’s drugs for Macy’s stomp.