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Song Parodies -> "Mr. Tanqueray Man"

Original Song Title:

"Mr. Tambourine Man"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Mr. Tanqueray Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Hey, Mr. Tanqueray Man, play a psych to me,
I get weepy when I'm in your place and gettin' stewed.
Hey, Mr. Tanqueray Man, pour a drink for me.
In gin-hell hangover mornin', I'll come callin' on you.

You know evenings I am buying, martini in my hand,
With my favorite brand.
Blindly drunk, I start to ramble, then I'm weeping.
My bleariness then dazes me; I can't stand on my feet,
You tell me I should eat,
But some ancient mystery meat's all you're feedin'.


Now I spray stray spit from my maw's salivating lip,
As I relay a quip, while I take a dripped nip,
I'm talking like a sales rep,
You say, "Abate all that boob-spiel; you're maunderin'!"
Unsteadily I drink some hair of dog, mixed with limeade.
I'm running a charade; cast a spell, but now it's frayed.
I promise; folks aren't buyin' it.


Though you see me laughin', grinnin', shillin' madly for the dumb one.
I have never aimed a gun, but I send the daughters and sons
Over there to die--young men and women wastin'.
And then you hear me gracin' the press with my Zen-like rhymes
Just after Tanqueray time. (Citrus is flaggin'; where's the limes?)
By then I'm just brayin' rote lines; they're just a shadow of
The truth that no one's facing


Please make them disappear, all the voices in my mind,
With their epithets unkind. Oh, can't you make them leave?
They haunt and frighten me. The gin helps me beseech
You to tell me I'm not crazy, just harrowed.
Yet I dandle on my thigh your wife, whose legs are swingin' free,
Stiletto heels stick in me; surgical sutures are planned.
And given my present state, commit papers should be waived.
Their assessment of sanity is rather narrow.

Hey, Mr. Tanqueray man, your old friend Rummy.
I can't sleep because of everything I'm going through.
Hey, Mr. Tanqueray man, I am a rummy.
In gin-hell hangover mornin', I'll come callin' on you.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
thou art a poet...5s
Rick C - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
What is it about drunk parodies that makes them so much fun to sing to the OS? Wonderfully done, John. High fives and then some.
Michael Pacholek - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Right from the horse's vermouth.
John Barry - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Rick Michael--chuckle.
Johnny D - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Bow in the direction of France when you say that, Michael Pacholek. Good job, JB.
PMS - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
"Abate all that boob-spiel...maunderin'" Priceless!
Tim Mayfield - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Dee Range - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Another great play off the OS...a John Barry specialty. Love the OS, the parody, and the gin. Cheers and high 5's
Michael Pacholek - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, I'll boy in the direction of France... but only because Poland is in the same direction. Then again, that would be a vodka martini... and Wyborowa is better than anything the Russians can make.

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