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Song Parodies -> "If The Association sang ‘Edmund Fitzgerald’"

Original Song Title:

"Along Comes Mary"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"If The Association sang ‘Edmund Fitzgerald’"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

In the wires the wind is witching, moaning; ship is groaning,
a squall on Gumee.
A lengthy scow that went with gents who ride the tides and curse
in verse that’s called “shanty.”
That’s when a long tub carries
a load of rocks that up was picked on a dock slurry-slicked;
ship ain’t been licked this century.
She’ll soon be shattered. . .tatter gales that batter, whale
on navigation—worse than seven seas.

There’s a gent who would sure serve them lunch,
but the wrenching gusts paste and beat with a punch.

No vagues retire, wires like lyres, mired, tired ship
sideslips, dips in a dang’rous way.
This is no bath charade; afraid are sailor folks, jade’ blokes
who hope it ain’t no shame to pray
now for this long tub, ferries
in a hold bloated with FE—that’s iron’ see! Breach shall there be
from Mother Nature dame.
And they will struggle, but the hold cannot withstand the surging scourge
filling ship wit’ Fitz name.

There’s a gent who abjures serving lunch
’cause the wrenching gusts gale and scream with a punch.

It’s time for mourning, time for warning’s passed, the mast is flaccid,
skids across the spars.
Ain’t slight the trauma that this drama’s spawned.
Sea songs are left unsung—all strung out very far
because this long tub’s nary
got a chance upright to remain: the bounding main, a baleful bane;
a plight, this heavy ore.
Pitiful quaking guys’ beseeching eyes look to the screeching skies;
stifles their cries, the mighty roar.

All these gents will sure become fish lunch
as she’s bent and crunched, maimed by squeeze pressure’s punch,
squeeze pressure’s punch,
squeeze pressure’s crunch.

Detroit knees-crunched:
beseeching bunch.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Callmelennie - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
You scooped me, JAB!! I've been working on this very idea since November, 2010. So far, all I've got is the last refrain -- When she struck, the Witch packed a punch ... Now the old cook says we can't eat our lunch ... Can't eat our lunch ... Can't eat our lunch (what the fu-) .... Can't eat our lunch!
Rob Arndt - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Keepin' the old Fitz parodies afloat- 555!
AFW - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
You must be burnin' the midnight oil, John...very well done
Michael Pacholek - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Sweet as the punch.
Timmy - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Great write - the whole story. Loved the fish lunch line.
Patrick - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
The original is such a fast-paced song that I've never been able to follow the lyrics. You have mastered something I consider very challenging. And threw in some French lingo, too. Two, actually three, great additions to this ever expanding genre (how's that for a French expression?).
Meriadoc - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
The mast is flaccid, John?
Patrick - December 08, 2012 - Report this comment
I once proofread some advertising copy for a rubber raft. It gave the dimensions when the raft was "flaccid". I changed the word to "deflated".
Callmelennie - December 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick, if you haven't closely studied the lyrics, then you only think you know how challenging this OS is. In actuality, it possess an extraordinarily intricate internal rhyming scheme. It must have one of the most complex rhyme schemes in all of rock history. Must explain why it's only been done 10 times at Amiright. And even then, only three people, to include JAB, seemed to have nailed it. Check out the parodies by Alvin Rhodes and Porfle -- remarkable stuff

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