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Song Parodies -> "We Call These Pricks Verizon"

Original Song Title:

"They Call the Wind Mariah"

Original Performer:

Paint Your Wagon soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"We Call These Pricks Verizon"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Verizon, Verizon,
we call these pricks Verizon.

In waves of air there is a name
for what’s on the horizon.
They take your gelt, they take your dough,
and we call these pricks Verizon.

Verizon blows, there is no doubt,
and clouds your mind with lyin’.
Verizon’s run by thugs and louts,
and it’s bullshit they are plyin’.

Verizon, Verizon,
it’s bullshit they are plyin’.

Before I knew Verizon’s game,
their tel-tale I was buyin’.
But then I found that they had me
by the curlies—no denyin’.

So then one day, I left their world,
I left their world to find me
another carrier but see:
they all will get behind me.

Behind me, behind me
to sphincterally pry me.

It ain’t just them that are a bane,
they are hardly the only
ones that will get me on their phone plans
and then tele-bone me.

I went and got myself a plan
from what’s now AT&T.
The very first day, they screwed me. . .
the same old tele-phony.

Horizon, horizon—
no help on the horizon.

Connivin’, connivin’
phony companies.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   1
 2
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 4   0
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 5   18
 18
 18
 

User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
JB: Well-paced parody & well-deserved by Big V. I'm sending this comment over my Verizon 1 Mbps connection. I'm stuck with their bundle until Sept. 2013. Fancy cable box needs rebooting often; that's a pain. Have to dial local area code too. Try reaching a human at 800-VER-IZON!
Puto - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Made me laugh!! 5s!!
Jollyjester - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Funny! My call is 555!
John Barry - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Barry, Puto, Jester.
Patrick - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Got one of those Motorola Trac-Phones. Very expensive minutes. Has a lot of features, none of which I know how to use. The one about calling and talking to people, that one arbitrarily decides to go out of service.
Rob Arndt - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
555 for both parodies JAB! I can laught at this b/c I am on Verizon and have never had a problem at all. As for reaching someone, call 611 and hit the right prompt. But I only use 611 for phone payments! I have never lost a signal and never had to call about service. But I live in Cali so we are oversaturated with cell towers in my area...
Porfle Popnecker - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Funny! Thank goodness I only have a land line and I only use it to make local calls.
Brock O'Brahma - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Screamingly funny! I usually only comment on political parodies, but rage parodies at companies-that-done-me-wrong are something everyone understands. Once they convince us of a product we can't live without, they got us "by the curlies". (I'm wondering if Porfle still has some 8-track tapes)
Porfle Popnecker - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Nah, I finally sold them all in a garage sale a few years ago!
WarrenB - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
I literally laughed at loud at the title. And the 'tel' is well 'tolled.'
Peregrin - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Don't have Verizon where I live but have heard enough about them to know what the parody was about when i read the title, JB. Good stuff!
Meriadoc - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
I've always hated Verizon since some friends of mine had internet service with them and their Verizon email address kept rejecting half their friend's emails, including mine. Took them over a year to get it resolved. I have T-Mobile for my cell service - have always been happy with them.

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