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Song Parodies -> "No Redding Schlong"

Original Song Title:

"The Wedding Song"

Original Performer:

Paul Stookey

Parody Song Title:

"No Redding Schlong"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

We can’t get enough of these two, each one struck by Cupid’s dart;
Rest assured that she is “pure”—he’s not packed in his part.
The union of these two twits is our concern that is main—
To not cover this nonstory nonstop—that would be insane.
This we love, this we love.

The boring man lost his mother in a car crash far from home
Leaving his dad free to marry his favorite one.
And the bride’s name is Middleton, middle class, upper end. . .
Woman won her Windsor man
Whose station in life’s higher above.
Oh, this we love

Future king and queen become man and wife—
The lovebirds are everywhere; the coverage is rife.
Forget joblessness and Libya—this we’re living for;
We’d much rather focus on what Kate wore than on the war(s).
Oh, this we love, this we love.

When they get in the buff, these two from inbreeding will depart;
They’re not first cousins, so copious bloodshed won’t start. . .
Just little oozing trickles when no maidenhead remains.
What?! You tell me when they consummate there will be no red stains!
They’ve made love?!
No!!!!!!!. They have humped????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

WarrenB - April 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Yep. More important things to think about than the royals, though it appears someone disagrees. Oh well, no accounting for taste ;0. Here's some fives for your jest..
Sassy Girl - April 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Hey guys, FYI a girl's hymen can be broken w/o sex: sports, bicycle riding, horseback riding, masturbating with fingers to large vegetables, etc...!!! btw, this song is disgusting. Eew, gross!!!
Punk Boy - May 01, 2011 - Report this comment
To paraphrase Sassy Girl, a girl can lose her virginity even without getting her hymen popped. There's been a disturbing "trend" of high school girls doing fellatio and their hymens are still intact. Yet they are virgins no more because an *entry* had occured. There was a rash of such incidents in a high school on the north side of my home city. Also, what about the guy - how do you know he's "pure"? I agree with you, Sassy Girl - there's bigger issues than this and yes - this song is so Pukepolis. Dee-GUST-ing!
Sassy Girl - May 02, 2011 - Report this comment
It is also possible for a guy to have intercourse with a girl with a partially-broken hymen who IS a virgin and yet there will be no blood. Most girls due to heavy exercise in the 21st century (family gyms, etc...) have either fully or partially broken hymens before sex anway. Punk boy, I agree with some of what you said but then agian you are dividing up a girl's virginity into oral, intercourse, and anal. Oral and anal is sex but only intercourse counts for losing one's virginity. If you disagree then if a girl finger-bangs herself and breaks her hymen then is she suddenly not a virgin due to masturbation blood? No way, it doesn't count. A guy that masturbates and ejaculates is still a virgin until he has intercourse. Having oral sex with a girl doesn't mean he's a man.

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