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Song Parodies -> "Schemes Spawn a Slummer Place"

Original Song Title:

"Theme from A Summer Place"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Schemes Spawn a Slummer Place"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

There’s a slummer place—
And when it rains or storms,
No one’s safe and warm.
Rain pours in that slummer place.
Alarm—it ain’t rat-free,
It’s old and moldy; lice are there,
Mildew grows.

It’s full of gloomy guys
Who have sunken eyes
Because they haven’t fressed grub.

On the street they get snubs;
This slummer place
Is where they all can share
Needles without care,
Without hopes,
Without dreams,
Without grub.

Where’s this slummer place?
On streets Main and Acorn;
It’s foreclosure-born—
And on farms, because sharks
Caused us harms with their ARMs*.
The alarms were disarmed. . .
The gendarmes, snoozed sans qualms. . .
Third World charms: ’burbs and farms.

*adjustable rate mortgages

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Patrick - June 23, 2011 - Report this comment
The homeless guys around here all collect Social Security Disability. And food stamps (or whatever they call them now). They live free or nearly so, and get their meals at the shelter. The EBT cards are not as easy to sell as the old food stamps, but there are ways to swap food for cash. Cash, of course, buys liquor. Liquor fuels alcoholism, which is classified as a disability. One fellow told me his biggest handicap in finding a job is that he doesn't speak Spanish.
LilCupCakes - June 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Chips ahoy for ~Section Eight ~, Pirate Jack!

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