Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh! Don’t feel very nice—
I sure could use some ice,
maybe a ton!
Rippin’ sphincter—
too much doo dumping outta my bum.

It’s assailing my pink sphincter—
there’s more and more and more.
It’s makin’ my legs bandy;
I sure don’t feel real dandy—
I guess I had a lot in store.

Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh! Don’t feel very nice—
sensation is like lice
nipping by bum.
Itchin’ sphincter—
too much poo comin’ out. . .got the runs.

Only time will heal my sphincter,
need some Imodium too.
Oh, beans can be evil
and can make the stomach feeble
but prompt gas, not hours in loo!

Drippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Drippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Drippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh! Don’t feel very nice—
I wish I had a vise
clamped on my bum.
Drippin’ sphincter—
too much doo sumpin’ out—here more comes!

So much poo! I need a big pail—
the quantity just grows:
toilet’s overflowin’
and soil-knickers is goin’
from where shed down to my toes.

Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh!
Rippin’ sphincter, oh! ooh! It’s way more than twice
that’s issued in a trice
rivers of runs.
Rip’an sphincter—
too much poo comin’ out. . .
doode [sic], I’m bummed!

Rip’an sphincter—
too much poo comin’ out.
Rue them plums!!