Slit-gorge killer’s coming after you—
slashing, gashing, gnashing apace.
So, to not let this beast-man trouble you,
quell your fear—shelter in place.

Town’s quaking under lots of duress
at night when he’ll seek a human fress.
First he’ll maul, then feeding frenzy ensues.
During day he walks in human shoes.

Don’t think Jesus will save you; instead you must go
down to the produce store, shell out lots of dough
for garlic bulbs that are white as snow.
Gorge-slitter is a dread loup-garou.

Stay in your house: the best nocturnal plan;
he’s like the killer in “Thriller.”
Table manners are extremely coarse…
lay you low then make you the main course

[howling interlude]

These warnings aren’t given in jest;
your warm body he would like to ingest.
He’ll ravage you and cause oh so much pain.
Just one snack and you’re in his domain.

Slit-gorge killer takes a chew of you—
now he’s gashed and gnashed, you’ll have to face
the fact that you’re one of this trouble crew…
For man’s flesh you’ll have a taste.