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Song Parodies -> "Salon Painter"

Original Song Title:

"Sail On, Sailor"

Original Performer:

Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Salon Painter"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

My painting motion causes commotion:
no restful dauber; pigment explosion. . .
way too brightened; eyeballs frightened.
Ain’t no salon painter.

Perspective slaughter, hues sloshed like water,
brushes I borrow; painting/patron defrauder.
Stunts aplenty; content, empty.
Failed as salon painter.

Caulking gun: I spew and splat; paint thrown from a pail.
Boggles those with clear heads—“Thug!” is what they wail.

Some burnt umber, paint by numbers,
left-brain slumber, booze-filled tumbler:
freely drinking, hardly thinking,
elbow bending unrelenting.
Then some beering, head ain’t clearing,
synapse searing; slurping, cheering:
“Ale for salon failure!”

I turn a pee spray onto a “seascape,”
and what I’ve wrought are not trompe l’oeil waters.
Urinspired [sic], drenched and mired. . .
rained-on, stained-on “painting.”

When you’re seeing that I’m peeing,
you’re decreeing: “Stop wee-weeing!
Need a plumber?! What a bummer!
This is dumber than a Mummer
in a Hummer in the summer!”

You’re decrying my applying
yellow dyeing. . .canvas drying.

Ale-spawned trails on painting.
Ale-wrought. . .sale! Bought painting.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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John Lomain - March 28, 2013 - Report this comment
Looks good
Lifeliver - March 28, 2013 - Report this comment
An anarchically appealing abstract expressionist epic. If Jackson Pollock wrote parody, it would come out something like this. Pity our works don't sell for millions.

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