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Song Parodies -> "The Mend"

Original Song Title:

"The End"

Original Performer:

The Doors

Parody Song Title:

"The Mend"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

This is the rend;
Suit I will mend.
This is the rend
You tore in bend, my friend.

Oh, wow! You gashed the pants, I'll mend.
It makes it hard to dance, the rend.
A safety pin you tried, to mend.
With thread that's hooked it will be tied, my friend.

There's a rip there, I can see:
Out would slip your heinie.
Desperately you need a strong sewer's hand
For those vestments grand.

Cloth came from Roman milliners--nice grain--
Who work in villas, next to grain,
Where distillers put to flame
Maize, wheat; swillin' bilge they gain.

There's danger that the threads fall down. . .
Why they are hiked way up there.
Leers seen if eyed butthole shines.
Heinie'd be undressed. . .nates.

Tried to baste, tried to baste,
Basted in haste. . .wasted.
The baste's not strong--
Wretched trial.
What a waste.
I'll sew with a stitch that holds

This thread's just the best,
This thread can be pressed,
Won't shear when you get undressed.

Your huge butt, I think, helped bust
Your suit, but it will be trussed
By thread that can hold up a bus.

With thimble, no poke, no score thumb,
So I'll put on one.
I'll make a pace of patient patchery,
Then the cloth I'll start to awl.
I'll have to slightly groom and snip the rip, and then I'll
Patch with bits clipped from the cuff turns, and then I'll
Match it all up, one and all.

You'll have raiment once more,
And you'll look like pride.
Haberdashers will watch and thrill to
Touch it. They'll want that lush suit.

Come on, take me out to dance, you must,
Come on, take me out--your pants won't bust,
Come on, shake it, there's no chance your butt
Will sneak free in the back. . .no view disgust,
You movin' to rock,
No new rip-bust,
So don't eschew rock--
Come on, dance!

Stitch chick stitch-fix, nix rip.

This is the mend,
Suit-rippin' friend.
Fixed is the rend
From your deep bend. . .butt end.

It burst, you bent, tush seen
Butt view, cleft trench, hollow 'tween
Your end, two fat lumps soft as pies
Your end as white as a moonrise.

Fixed with the mend.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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 7
 

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
The tailor awoke before dawn. He put his boots on. He took a chalk from the ancient gallery and he wondered why you didn't do that part of the song. But it's still a five.
John Barry - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Are you doing a blue rock, Michael? Take a look a the ninth verse.
AFW - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Very well tailored...to keep the reader in stitches
Jason - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Great rhyming. I like it.

(WOW! The 3 letter code for this is SPY! How cool and surreal is that?!)
alvin - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
at last...lyrics to this song that make sense...nice repair job
John Barry - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Michael, AFW, Jason, Alvin.
Meriadoc - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Dr. Seuss on acid... ;-)
2Eagle - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
You took on a difficult song - good work. Now if that were Creedence Clearwater it would go, "I see a bad moon rising....".
Peregrin - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Euripades, Barry? Youmendadese....5's
littleCupCakes - January 22, 2008 - Report this comment
I know i had some 555's here, Oh, yes, indeed I do . . . . tucked nside my bustiere!!

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