Next time you’re bound with friends to be around,
so as not to be spurned, take advice sound.

When by your friends you have been banned,
time to do what many have planned:
Go to the shower and stand
under the water, and…

then won’t you try soap; oh, please, try soap.
If you try it, when dry, you’ll have high hopes.

Because, “goodbye” the stench’ll go.
Gotta drench and go
hard at it with those hands.
Gloop those suds everywhere—even that gland.

Your funk appalls and prompts many catcalls.
You will not be spurned in the halls, in the malls.

And you will no longer be damned
by friends who scream, “Ponger, be scrammed!”
No reason to be banned, lammed.
Stand tall and take command.

But you must try soap, simply try soap.
You can’t try till you hie spry and buy soap.

You might take a cue from an ad
and buy for your pad
a particular brand,
one that seems to be greatly in demand.

Get your ass into the bathroom,
soap up, sing the tune
that has got eight lines, tops:
“Zestfully Clean.” Once you start, you can’t stop.