Hoovin’ happened to him—now he moos.
Freaky—his humanity he’d lose.

He is now quite content in eating fodder;
at least he won’t be needing a hoof-shodder.
A cud he tastes relentlessly, engaged in
mooin’, but that is just what cows do.
Chewin’ upon hay, then goin’ poo.

It is not a thing that you want to see.
a guy who’s transformed to bovinity.
He will no more be walking down the street; he’s
moving to a state in which he moos.
Eating—hay and grass are what he chews;
out it flows, whoa!

He’ll keep on spending cud-eat days this way.
To trough he’ll walk and quaff, then have some hay.
This transformation is extremely cray!
Wife quite perplexed will be; guy’s not a sexy he.

Movin’ to divorce him, what she’ll do.
Seeking a real man ready to woo.
Sapiens, homo.

Wooin’—love, human love.