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Song Parodies -> "Killing Ashcroft's Knees--Bent Too Long"
Original Song Title:
"Killing Me Softly with His Song"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Roberta Flack
Parody Song Title:
"Killing Ashcroft's Knees--Bent Too Long"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
The U.S. Attorney General is sometimes known as "the nation's top cop[rophage]."
Killing Ashcroft's Knees—Bent Too Long
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
They heard he had a good tongue;
They heard he was servile.
And so they came to feel him extend it for a mile.
So there he was, a dung boy, mouth a manger for flies:
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
And then they flushed the feces, from their ass to his mouth.
He'd like it so much better if his knees had a couch.
He prays that they will finish, but they say, "Keep right on!":
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
He sagged because his poor knees need ACL repair,
But they said, "Raise yourself up; you're biting our leg hair!"
His patellae aren't springy; but his tongue is long.
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
They heard he had a good tongue;
They heard he was servile.
And so they came to feel him extend it for a mile.
So there he was, a dung boy, mouth a manger for flies:
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
And then they flushed the feces, from their ass to his mouth.
He'd like it so much better if his knees had a couch.
He prays that they will finish, but they say, "Keep right on!":
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
He sagged because his poor knees need ACL repair,
But they said, "Raise yourself up; you're biting our leg hair!"
His patellae aren't springy; but his tongue is long.
Strumming the anus with fingers,
Licking the rim free of turds.
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long,
Swelling the whole night, oh, they hurt!
Killing Ashcroft's knees—bent too long.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 2 | 2 |
User Comments
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Don't know much about Mr. Ashcroft, John...but as I KTOS well, and I get the message...I'm a gonna give ya 5s
Thought it was funny..wasn't sure about the pacing..but very funny stuff! ha... I liked it.. maybe one day I will grow up and be as good as some of you other folks! ;)
Thanks, Kristof. The less you know, the better. He's an evil bastard.
LOL
Well, I knew Ashcroft was full of $#!+, but... this was disgusting, but so is Ashcroft. That grinding sound you hear coming from Arlington is Bobby Kennedy turning over in his grave, knowing what's going on at the Department of Justice Building named for him. I'm waiting for John Kerry to say, "My fellow Americans, if I am elected your President, your next Attorney General will not be a man like John Ashcroft!"
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