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Song Parodies -> "The Wan-Dermer"

Original Song Title:

"The Wanderer"

Original Performer:

Dion & the Belmonts

Parody Song Title:

"The Wan-Dermer"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Oh well, I'm the kind of guy who will never travel down
Where pretty girls are on spring break, Florida town.
I'd be there and I'd love 'em, but my mother is a Dane;
My dad is blanched and Swedish; I'd be needing Solarcaine.
They call me the wan-dermer, yeah, the wan-dermer;
I won't go down to Sun-drowned towns.

Apollo comes up on left if I face South in daylight.
I stay in bed curled up with a book, go out at night.
I once basked on beach as sun rose east, went west--
I blared, "This roasting hurts!" I got a bright rosy chest
'cause I'm the wan-dermer. yeah, the wan-dermer;
I won't go down to Sun-drowned towns.

I don't go out when Sun's around
Or I'd be bright red like the flares
That the law officers lay down
When there's two twisted Scions, sighin' owners, "Repairs!"

Sheltered. . .

I'm the light-shy guy one summer was Nome-bound;
I never saw the place 'cause sun never went down.
There are massive ice shelves in this midnight-sun world
And off light reflects, harmingly bright. . .would fry me till skin curled
Off; I'm the wan-dermer, yeah, the wan-dermer;
I won't go down or up unless sun's down.

So, yeah, I'm the light-shy guy whose home has got a crown
Of elms over the place, foliage droopin' down.
Inside I find myself a-callin' up my girl:
"Hi, let's hop down to a bar tonight; I'm dry and want a pearl
Onion in my vodka that's made from water
And spuds grown in my frozen homeland ground; let's down
Lot's and lots of vodka." Want vodka, not water.
We wash it down and down and down until near drowned.
I'm an impaired walker, wasted on vodka;
I fall down, pass out, wake' round noon. "Ouch!" orb ain't down.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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Yoidy - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Neat wordplay. 3 pale 5s for you!
alvin rhodes - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
the OS pales beside this
Tommy Turtle - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Get a shell and some scales -- works great! ... SPF 555 for Wan A. Fair -- y.
(um, that's as in "fair-skinned", of course :)
Ann Hammond - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
John Barry - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Yoidy, Alvin, TT, Ann.
Meriadoc - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Seems like you need to wallow in some moon-tanning...
Susanna Viljanen - February 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Being a Finn (and blonde with fair skin) I can relate to this song - my skin isn't fortunately that tender to sun as that of most Finns. Sunshine or moonshine? A good question indeed...

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