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Song Parodies -> "There’s Dearth Cuts in This Weep Mess"

Original Song Title:

"The First Cut Is the Deepest"

Original Performer:

Sheryl Crow

Parody Song Title:

"There’s Dearth Cuts in This Weep Mess"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

First in “Rope” and then in “Under Capricorn,” Hitchcock employed the extended-take technique, in which there are no cuts for several minutes. The camera moves and the action is continuous. In some cases, apparently, walls and furniture were moved out of the way to allow the camera to follow action from location to location; the technique was employed in at least one scene of “Stage Fright.” I consider “UC” to be Hitchcock’s second worst film, little more than a costume soap opera. But the camera technique is interesting to watch. By contrast, the crop-dusting scene in “North by Northwest” has something like 80 cuts. I tried counting once, but because some are so short, it’s very had to do.
It’s not a film that I’d put on my chart
Of examples of Hitchcock’s best art.
It’s a waste of time, except is has
Extended takes where no editing ends. . .
Takes in which the action don’t end; on it goes.

There’s dearth cuts in this weep mess,
Much as in “Rope”;
There’s dearth cuts in this creep fest.

This flick takes you on a ride—
The opposite editing technique tried;
Some cuts missed in the blink of an eye;
Edits can be counted in the tens;
Edits abounding; in the end this scene shows:

There’s sure cuts in this sleek “’west,”
Nothing like “Rope”;
There’s sure cuts in this speed fest.

When it comes to being sucky, “Cap”’s first
This Down Under soaper’s the master’s worst. . .*

Almost nothing but downside,
Only saving grace: the technique he tried
In “Northwest,” you can watch a plane fly,
That is, if you don’t blink your eyes; ’cause then
You’ll miss edits before scene’s end.

The worst crud is the weep fest,
Nothing but soap,
Though dearth cuts in this weep fest.

There’s sure cuts in the sleek “’west”;
It is an op-
us compared to the weep fest.

*Actually, my vote for worst goes to 1931’s “The Skin Game,” a lame filmization of a John Galsworthy play.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 18, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - I'm not sure, but I believe the longest continual take is the opening sequence of "Touch Of Evil" by Orson Welles. This, however, needs no editing. ;D
John Barry - March 18, 2011 - Report this comment
The opening of "Touch" (great flick, with the exception of Charlton Mexton) is a very long tracking shot. In "UC" and "Rope," they moved walls out of the way so the camera could follow the action.
WarrenB - March 18, 2011 - Report this comment
When I first saw Rope, I felt like I was watching a play (on which it is based). I later read that this was one of the effects Hitchcock was striving to achieve. On subsequent viewings, I felt myself getting distracted, waiting for him to pan to a neutral area so he could change the magazine in the camera.

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