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Song Parodies -> "If I Were Miss Manners"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had a Hammer"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Trini Lopez

Parody Song Title:

"If I Were Miss Manners"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

If I were Miss Manners,
I’d yammer in the morning,
I’d yammer to my readers
All over this land.
I’d yammer on the danger
And yammer out a warning
’bout having sex love between
A brother and a sister—
Such love must be banned.

And then I would yell
That drinking in the morning
Is something to be leaving,
No matter what brand.
I’d bring out danger
Of big A.M. pouring.
I’d bring out that drunk-
eness this early is sinister—
Such glugs should be banned.

I’d point out: it’s wrong
To stink up without warning,
To stink up before leaving
A space that is cramped,
Like an elevator,
To make air currents storming
That stink can be funk from beans,
Whatever, it’s sinister—
Wait till folks decamp.

I’ve got bad manners,
And I’ve got that smell;
I got that pong that stinks
From out of the can.

No, Miss Manners I’m not, sis,
And I’m swelled up—feel it.
Put my schlong that’s out snug between
The love berms of my sister—
Proscriptions be damned!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   5
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User Comments

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Ausfahrt - August 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I'll have to email this to my old roommate. He would always sing the original when I wanted to borrow a hammer
Old Man Ribber - August 11, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - I read and scored all your language parodies from yesterday, but didn't offer comments for each. If that's not a breach of manners, then... ;D

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