PRIGGINS

Now that you have extracted this contract, go!
And take with you your gag-enacting gall.
This has been depressing,
As well as quite distressing.
I’ve never heard such a godawful squall!
Woman, you’ve no swag until the sales begin, so scat.

MOM

You head-bloated egotists make me gag.
With all your grating cranium-inflating prating,
vacillating, masturbating approbating,
you dare call me an irritating nag?!

DO-LITTLE

I see a woman beefing with a man.
The man is haughty, an imperious air.
True, his ego’s bloated; she has captured him there.
But what he says about her, well, there’s truth in that.
I am so tiring of their spat.
So, enough of this brouhaha—
Enough’s already been said
In all this, I’m not hearing any new blah-blah.
Either clam up or claim new ground to tread!

I see a woman shrieking with a man.
The scene’s unpleasant, like bad-scented cheese.
And neither will make an attempt to appease.

MOM (to PRIGGINS)

Well, I’m delighted that I have contract power,
And I’m insisting I’ll keep my vision on you.

PRIGGINS

I’m sure that that “vision” will be more like a glower!
In time, you’ll too gain from what accrues.

DO-LITTLE (to both)

Can’t you two go on without a snit?
Wow, I say, I’m starting to be vexed.
I could stoop and call you each a lout, a twit
Can’t you stop yakking and acting like T. Rex?!

PRIGGINS and MOM

Actually, that sounds like a plan:
We must let the boy get his work done on time
In order that he’ll be in his painting prime.

DO-LITTLE (aside)

Oh god, a double-entendre on blue, red, yellow.

PRIGGINS and MOM

We have a bargain based on mutual trust.
The boy has made us realize that we must mellow—
We’re sorry that we recently cussed.

DO-LITTLE

I am glad to see an agreed-upon plan.
After this recent and unseemly scrap,
I must resume work—it’s like running a lap.
Now, both of you shut up, or I shall have to come
Over and boot you in the bum.

PRIGGINS and MOM

Benefit of the doubt is given to you—
We can see your patience has been tried.
Make masterpieces so accolades, cash ensue.

MOM

And I will snag some cash and swag on the side!
Now a brief recap: here is where we stand.
As soon as the canvases haul in a windfall,
I will get my haul, and I’ll no longer bawl.
And with that final call, I’ll now do the “going” bit.

MOM and PRIGGINS

So, young man, it’s up to you not be blowing it.

(Mom starts to exit, stage right.)

DO-LITTLE

You will see: You can count on me!