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Song Parodies -> "The Wurst Cut, Fissure, Deepness"

Original Song Title:

"The First Cut Is the Deepest"

Original Performer:

Sheryl Crow

Parody Song Title:

"The Wurst Cut, Fissure, Deepness"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Guy’s gonna give up his balls-propped-up part;
It’s the doctor will tear it apart.
Doc’ll take cock and balls he once had,
And when it’s done, “she’ll” gyno-love the men.
Lady now, guy, no, lovin’ men—them she’ll know.

The wurst cut, fissure deepness,
Lady, guy—no!
The wurst cut, fissure deepness.
When it comes time to be plucking, a nurse
Will assist in severing the girth.

The incision’s rather wide,
After what was once high there is off pried.
He was sure that he wasn’t a guy,
And when it’s done, she’ll gyno-love the men.
Lady now, guy, no, lovin’ men, them she’ll know.


The wurst cut, lips slit, she-ness,
Lady, guy—no!
The wurst cut, lips slit she-ness.
When it comes time to be plucking, a purse-
like fissure’ll open where tissue’s burst.

The incision then is tied;
There’s labial ligatures on each side.
He’s now gyn, whereas he was once guy,
And when it’s done, his “gyro”’s at an end
(Gyro at an end, gyro that could spend),
Lady now, guy, no, pita/peter pocket will show.


The quirt’s cut, fissure, she-ness,
Lady, guy—no!
The quirt’s cut, fissure, she-ness.
When it comes time to be f**king, in wurst
Where it runs in true females, who’re cursed.


The wurst cut, ingress, she-ness,
Lady, guy—no! (labial show),
The wurst cut, ingress, she-ness.
Pie for love of men.

The skirt’s cut, fit for she-ness,
Lady, size whoa!
The skirt’s cut, fit for she-ness. . .
Try for duds size 10!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - August 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Erk! The usual JAB exemplary syllable matching, but with added squirminess. Slicing up some 5s for ya. (Gonna have to have a lay down now...)
John Barry - August 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Kristof.

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