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Song Parodies -> "Low Crime to Steal, Angelina"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Cry for Me, Argentina"

Original Performer:

Evita Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Low Crime to Steal, Angelina"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

She was real sneaky, had it arranged
To star with Brad, who is such a heel. . .
Clearly wasn't in love with sweet Jen. Aniston,
Who said, "You'll leave me
For that girl with collagen lips askew?
I count that you played the two-time.
Slut! The vixen had sex with you!"

And so Mr. and Ms Pitt are now estranged
And "Brangelina" is outed.
Though she is not a widow, with the Brad man it's done.
Each has freedom,
So he then ran around with someone new,
And he became her seneschal.*
From Jen's she's stolen Brad. Boo-hoo!

Low crime to steal, Angelina.
Oh, poor Jennifer, Brad left you.
On your wedding day:
Till ends existence,
His nuptials promise. . .
Then "split" insistence.

Jen can't importune the Brad man; game's
Up, 'cause Angie's under his skin.
Had Brad been Trump, he'd have trumpeted: "Chump, you're fired!"
He's now canoodlin'
With Angie J. and poodlin', like a lap doggy.
They're "in love"; I give 'em years--three.

Low crime to steal, Angelina.
Brad knew from the day he met you
That his wedding day
Required resistance,
So now he'll prod Miss
A's sister essence.

Is Angie a slut
For Pitt pilferage after his marriage, year two?
Yeah, right!, On to the next ceremony.
It's Hollywood! So say, "I do!"

No crime to steal, Angelina.

*Devoid of all its feudal trappings, a servant

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   2

User Comments

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Red Ant - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I really like this John, and while this is syllable perfect the line "Slut! The vixen had sex with you" 'shifts' syllables from "At sixes and sevens with you" in a way that IMHO makes that line awkward to sing since "vixens" and "sixes" are not in the same spot. There's a few other spots this occurs ("canoodlin'/poodlin" rhymes were great; same thing though). Sorry man, 455.
alvin rhodes - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
nice job
Stuart McArthur - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
yes, I had some pacing problems here too - I'm going to have to echo Red's 455 - but there were some hilarious lines that made up for it - btw as the title doesn't start with "Don't" it's ineligible for Brangelina (see rules) although you may not have written it for that anyway
2Eagle - February 25, 2006 - Report this comment
I may be the only one here who is old enough to remember Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, but after they dumped each other's spouses and married they lived miserably ever after.
Larry Hensley - February 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Good parody.
John Barry - February 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, 2Eagle, Larry, Stuart (not written for "Brangelina"), Red Ant (good point; maybe "that vixen had ven'ry with you")

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