Cummerbund, my porte’,[1] cummerbund
Cummerbund, ain’t short, cummerbund
Cummerbund, my forte,[2] cummerbund
My porte, cummerbund

Gut it’s ringing, my cummerbund
Snugly clinging, my cummerbund
Gut it’s slinging, my cummerbund
Gorgeous cummerbund

Gotta have it, my cummerbund
Never halve it, my cummerbund!
Got a habit, my cummerbund
Adored cummerbund

Around tying my cummerbund
Satisfying, my cummerbund
I’m applying my cummerbund
Too short, cummerbund?

I’m displaying my cummerbund
It’s not fraying, my cummerbund
I’m porter-ing my cummerbund
My porte, cummerbund.

Pies I’m eating. . .fries, plumper gut
Down it’s creeping, my cummerbund
I am weeping: my cummerbund’s
On floor. . .come undone




[1]prêt-à-porter, ready to wear
[2] Forte is derived from French that in its “strong point” sense has no entirely satisfactory pronunciation. Usage writers have denigrated FOR-TAY because it reflects the influence of the Italian-derived forte. Their recommended pronunciation FORT, however, does not exactly reflect French either: the French would write the word le fort and would pronounce it more similar to English for. So you can take your choice, knowing that someone somewhere will dislike whichever variant you choose.