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Song Parodies -> "Upper Lip Is Weak"

Original Song Title:

"Up On Cripple Creek"

Original Performer:

The Band

Parody Song Title:

"Upper Lip Is Weak"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

When I get off of Pete Fountain, you know what I'm gonna blow?
Eight bars of bad Mississippi Delta jazz; I gulp and mess up so.
My Ray Charles loses stam'na, and my Bessie Smith's kinda crude.
The truth is, I can't play for sh*t, but I've got some alto 'tude.

Upper lip is weak—I'm bendin'
Notes and get a squeak, ear-rendin'.
That's when folks beseech my endin'.
"It's junk!" they scream. "Oh, won't you ever be done?!"

Goodman's my next bunglee—an ace on "stick"or oboe.
I commit, of course, a sin: I attempt to play his work in my show.
The audience was favored. I tried to do a run,
But I snagged the octave key in back, and I couldn't use my thumb.


The pickup note I'm missin'; my rhythm is a mess—they just laugh.
I got lost and I'm playin' bass; should be on treble staff.
I made 'em cringe when a whole note hurled out at one-fifty dB;
None of the victims seemed to mind, I'd hit do instead of ti.


I come in late, and I've got bad attack. Egad! Like moans from an ox.
They get a break 'cause I do not sing; if I did, they'd hear a squawk.
Playing this horn is a hard job, even when I tap my feet.
And they swear that I toot it like a fool—I've just bessed up the meet!


Well this aural flood of cacophonia has take a wheezin' toll
On my lungs—end of the road. I think I'm gonna fold.
So my guests fall on their knees—it's manna from heaven! No more blowin'!!!
Right now I'm downbeat and not well-tempered,
But don't have sense to call it the end.


No, no, no! Don't play, no, no, no, no!
Ow, ow, ow! Abate, ow, ow, ow, ow!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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AFW - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good...imaginitive..5's
Johnny D - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Now THAT's a horny song, indeed.
Dee Range - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Parodies don't get much better than this..."This aural flood of cacaphonia has taken a wheezin toll" is just one of many great lines here. Fantastic job Mr. Barry! Super high 5's
Paul Robinson - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
JB, this one gave me some serious chuckles. 5's...
John Barry - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Comments don't get any better than yours, Dee--thanks! Thanks also AFW, JD, and Paul.
Michael Pacholek - November 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Quite a few of us seem to be Banding together. I recently did "Up On Sniffle Creek," and I've got "The Wait" ready to be posted. I defy anyone to come up with a better bad-music parody than this. Maybe VH1 should do "The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Amright Parodies... Ever!" No doubt, one of mine will make it.

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