Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Don't Fry Your Member"

Original Song Title:

"Try to Remember (from The Fantasticks)"

Original Performer:

Harvey Schmidt/Tom Jones

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Fry Your Member"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Don't Fry Your Member

Don't fry your member over the fire's embers
When you use it to toast marshmallows.
Don't fry your member over the fire's embers,
You'll scream in pain and you will bellow.
Don't fry your member over the fire's embers
Or you'll be as hot as hell, fellow.
Don't fry your member; you might be dismembered. . .
Sans phallo.

Phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo. . . .

Don't fry your member; at best, 'twill be tender.
It will swell like a sail and billow.
Don't fry your member; at best, 'twill be tender.
You'll have to rest it on a pillow.
Don't fry your member; at best, 'twill be tender,
At worst you will find that it's nil-o.
Don't fry your member; you might be dismembered. . .
Sans phallo.

Phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo. . . .

If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member.
The hole below will be so hollow.
If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member.
You'll be Venus and not Apollo.
If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member.
I suppose that you could use a d*ldo.
If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member. . . .
Sans phallo.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, okay, 5's for the line "You'll be Venus and not Apollo"!
Dee Range - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
This reminds me of a friend of mine who played 54 holes of golf on a sunny, 103 degree day and drank 24 beers in the process. He told me he peed about thirty times, out in the open air, and the next day found he had sunburned his dick! Good job John, 5's
Claude Prez - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I can really relate to this since I always have trouble finding a stick to toast marshmallows with, and invariably end up roasting a weenie instead. Okay, not really but it was funny; I also thought the Venus/ Apollo line stood out.
alvin rhodes - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm stickin' to bent clothes hangers....5s
John Barry - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, you toasters.
Kristof Robertson - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Unggghhh....twas very good....555
Michael Pacholek - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
A "toast" to this week's winner of the Johnny D Award for Best Phallic Parody.
Guy - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is a "weiner" in my book. Funny. Well done.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/harveyschmidttomjones0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 670