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Song Parodies -> "Why Are All the Chowboys Gaunt?"

Original Song Title:

"Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"

Original Performer:

Paula Cole

Parody Song Title:

"Why Are All the Chowboys Gaunt?"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

They used to be heavy, eatin’ food, drinkin’ bevy,
The chairs they’d sit on—custom-made.
Not svelter than a hog, fork
All set to pry a New York
Steak that’s too weighty to be weighed.
They’d swill booze all day, but they would never fill.

A mare with long mane,
They’d eat it all, well-done;
Their feasting’s never-ending.
Why are all the chowboys gaunt?

They taste from morn to ev’nin’
Big Macs and watch the TV,
And then fix up more vittles to eat.
There’s it goes: a snack burst
Of wurst, and in they pack it,
And then there is coffee cake that’s sweet.
Pies they raze when fillin’, but the weight gain is nil.

Much fare they’ve hogged. . .strange?!
You’d think they’d weigh a ton.
Their feasting’s never-ending;
Why are all the chowboys gaunt?

They prepare ’em a huge fress to bite
Of sweetbreads, roasts, and fricassee,
All placed on cheese fries.

These guys ain’t getting’ heavy
Though they’re chowin’ down like crazy;
They’ll cook a whole hog, and then they’ll eat.
Dudes relentlessly scarf
Even boy’s best friend, goes “Arf!”
Almost every single taste will they seek.
Guys’ dish is big fishes,
Yet they get thin—it’s queer?!

There! Digits, pronged, trained
Down toward each weighty paunch—
Up from their guts grub’s wending—
That why all the chowboys, gaunt!!

There goes a marbled roast ham,
There go five slimy buns,
There goes a whole free-ranger.
Fare out of the chowboys runs.

[fade on sounds of regurgitation]

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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norCalRider - May 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey PirateJaques de FreeRangier, Like the Cowboys ~ ~ ~> Chowboys line, sir! Many have asked this question afore ye; it doth seem that 'riding' in derSaddle trims the midSection, SirSweaty! old Cowboy secret, sir!
Christie Marie M - May 21, 2010 - Report this comment
This title alone's making me hungry! Great take on this OS! I crave for some fried chicken, biscuits, and mashed potatoes right now! Those cowboys turned to chowboys! They never forget the A1 Steak Sauce. Chow down on some 555's!
Old Man Ribber - May 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Smile when you say that, Slim! ;D
Lee - May 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Another delicious parody of one of my favorite songs of the 90's! All 5's.

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