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Song Parodies -> "Gnash Till Flat"

Original Song Title:

"Nashville Cats"

Original Performer:

Lovin' Spoonful

Parody Song Title:

"Gnash Till Flat"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Gnash till flat—flay teeth although ya oughtn’t ta,
Gnash till flat—waste, grind, then mountin’ rue,
Gnash till flat—been wastin’ since the “babies,”
Gnash till cracked—dent. work ere more you’ll chew.

Well, there’s 32, sometimes 28, good hard choppers ya gnash till
Ya groan when pick and poke—want some numbin’, by chance?
They’re past dredging, ya can’t fill.
Yeah there’s 32, sometimes 28, bit-hard, wasted from gnash ill.
Now every one is flat and not too hard—
No way they’re made better with a drill.

Ya grind down cusps: hurt, screams; bite night, day
But can’t be tooth-to-fill, perturb-ya-nil teeth rite,
’cause ya scourged with crunching’ chews; downin’ booze
Does not soothe, ’cause ya gnash on ’em light, night.
Now ya’ve wrecked ’em, man—dread; every one
Needs envelopment ’cause you’re a gnash mill.
South and north, gonna have to apply some
Stuff, more than a gash fill.

It’s because. . .

Gnash till flat—flay teeth from crunchin’ molars,
Gnash till flat—waste, grind, then mouthin’ rue,
Gnash till flat—been wastin’ since the “babies,”
Gnash till wracked—dent. work ere more you’ll chew.

Well, there’s sixty thousand eight hundred an’ twenty-one
Dollars in cash till.
They’re gonna mend each tooth sick and fix you up right:
Drill nil. . .fill with chill pills.
Each tooth is custom-made, and when the work is done,
Must cease the bit-hard shtik that is gnashville.
And I sure am glad I got a chance to allay hurt
With words ’bout ruin/ruein’ from the rubbin’—then capsville.

Gnash-ill-caps—cake teeth with plump-’em plaster,
Gnash-ill-caps—make nice so mouth won’t moue,
Gnash-ill-caps—they’ll cake over wasted teeth,
Cash till’s sacked—get work, see bill, gnash, rue!!!!!!!

Pick ’em.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Guy - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir John - Now here is a parody I can sink my teeth into. It's been a long time since I've heard this OS. Love what ya done with it.

Most inspired line:

"Well, there’s sixty thousand eight hundred an’ twenty-one Dollars in cash till"

Quite a bit of tongue gnashing going on here. Love it.
Warren B. - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
I think I've heard this one before. Didn't Flossy, Drills, and Gnash do this back in the 70s??! I still can't get over how you churn out the verbage, Master John. 5's.
Fiddlegirl - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Great OS, and truly inspired take on it! LOL at too many great lines, but the double-play "ruin/ruein’ from the rubbin’ " is classic! :)
Christie Marie M - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job on spoofing this tough OS! As a matter of fact, you always do good anyways! Gnash on some 555s!
BruxisTT - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
No teetering on the cusp here: great title switch and "incisive" subs on a terrible OS. I "crown" you with these Fives for your wisdom (teeth). Teeth hurt? Stick to guacamolar .:)
John Barry - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm chewing over all these comments and appreciating them.
TJC - June 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Parody one can sink his teeth into... perfect occlusion!
NorCalCougaress - June 25, 2010 - Report this comment
PirateJack, try chewing on this one: . . . You NorCALcat . . .
Old Man Ribber - June 26, 2010 - Report this comment
You got me again! I thought this would be another beaver song! Nevertheless, wonderful job! ;D

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