Old King Coal
(Old King Cole)

Old King Coal is dug out of a hole,
But that hole isn't methane-free.
If you spark a light
It just might blast the whole
Hole; the company's on TV.

Press scribblers then start to scribble
And they scribble that indifferently
Act careless chiefs; canaries are the miners.
You can't live down there
Without spare air.
But Old King Coal goes on, flippantly.


Little Buoys Blew
(Little Boy Blew)

Little buoys blew down in the storm.
The ship's in the narrows; broke is the foghorn.
Where are the buoys that hafta guide the ship?
They're under the wave-chop, downward dip.
Are the waves big? Two-ships high.
"Keelhaul the crew!" commands Captain Bligh.


Pauly Is Sucky
(Polly and Sukey)

Pauly Shore, an actor, non-,
Pauly Shore, an actor, non-,
Pauly Shore, an actor, non-,
Decidedly.
Sucks in every film he's in,
Sucks in every film he's in,
Sucks in every film he's in,
Wish he'd go away.


[Polly, put the kettle on,
Polly, put the kettle on,
Polly, put the kettle on,
And let's drink tea.
Sukey, take it off again,
Sukey, take it off again,
Sukey, take it off again,
They're all gone away.]


Puddy Tat, Puddy Tat
(Pussycat, Pussycat)

Puddy tat, puddy tat,
You I had teen,
I tought, yes, I tought
And you looked weal mean.
Puddy tat, puddy tat
Gave me a scare.
Why don't you go bite a mouse?
Wonderful fare.


Rebounded Has Apple
(As Round As an Apple)

Rebounded has Apple,
The stock price is up.
If Jobs divorces,
He's got a prenup.

[As round as an apple,
As deep as a cup,
All the king's horses
Can't pull it up.]


Much Shat Came Rivering Out of the Barn,
(A Cat Came Fiddling Out of a Barn)

Much shat came rivering out of the barn,
And the harried farmer expressed alarm.
He hurried in, huffing; dumbfounded did see,
His soused son let Bossie's dung get free.

[A cat came fiddling out of a barn,
With a pair of bagpipes under her arm;
She could sing nothing but fiddle cum fee,
The mouse has married the bumblebee.]


Why's Barry Bunting?
(Bye, Baby Bunting)

Why's Barry bunting?
Maybe 'cause they're hunting
Mark McGwire's ilk 'n'
Barry had been hittin'
Homers 'cause he's stickin'.
Now tracks they'll check for on his skin.


[Bye, baby bunting,
Father's gone a-hunting,
Mother's gone a-milking,
Sister's gone a-silking,
Brother's gone to buy a skin
To wrap the baby bunting in.]