My sherry I pour, puts me in a stunner daze.
My sherry I pour, gives my eyes a milky haze.
My sherry I pour, petty little glasses I abhor,
Take it neat and swill it by the score.
Drink like a fish or a swine.

In a café, I'm not too steady on my feet.
The maitre d' says, "Monsieur, please have a seat."
My sherry I pour. I guzzle and blithely ignore 'em:
The rules of restaurant decorum.
Judge might impose a fine.

I've a ruddy face, and my voice is getting quite loud.
"A bloody disgrace!" says someone in the pissed-off crowd.
More sherry I pour. Then I call the guy a "bloody bore!"
When I wake up, I'm sitting in court.
Judge has imposed a fine.