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Song Parodies -> "Branded"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

dock: the solid, fleshy part of an animal's tail; filigree: ornamental artwork; pale: stake; nates (NAY-tees): buttocks
There's a horse, way out the West way,
Was broken by a girl named Kay,
And she branded it with the Bar-K,
She claimed it as her own.

She's known as a great breaker 'round
Town, where she finds a cowboy clown,
And then she takes this cowboy down
And friskily bares his hind.

His tail is then branded by this cowgirl (she's a kine girl)
She says, "You belong to me!" (made-up-mind girl)
"I've annealed you with my name for all to see."

Branded, he don't wear a chain. . .
Would be superficial, 'cause Kay's staked her claim
On his dock; emblazoned name
Graces this man's branded butt.

Her name's on his bum to stay;
It itches on a hot day.
It's made his rear a d'art objet
And made her ardor known.

'Cause his tail's been branded by this cowgirl (she's a kine girl)
It's such fine work--artistry (lines and fine swirls)
It looks like a lovely and lacy filigree.

She's between his bandy-legged thighs,
Bowed out from riding his horsey
She could feel the ocean foam rise
She saw its ragin' glory
(Lest you should think I am uncouth, go to the OS and scan
These randy lines were in the lyric plan.)

At night, with his garments down
Branded man turns his head around
And in the mirror sees the mound
That bears the brand Bar-K

His pale had abandoned barren cowgirl (she's a dry girl)
While he admired pale nates (he spies the swirls)
Said his lithe but loveless dry lady: "Fill up me!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...inspired lunacy...5s
Paul Robinson - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
JB - Very, very fine job here...lotsa funnee, for sure...5's ~ ~ ~
MasonR - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
This is brilliant--especially the aside about the OS! I brand this with 5's!
Johnny D - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
5s, good job, JB. I didn't know there was a version of the OS by a group called Lighthouse. Awhile back, I posted a parody of "Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)" by a group called Looking Glass ... my parody's title is "Brand Me (Scar Me Fine, Girl)", shameless plug time:
Michael Pacholek - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I found a few references to lighthouses with "Brandy" either in the name of the lighthouse or in the name of the town it's in, but this song was done first by the Looking Glass, which preceded the Smithereens, the Spin Doctors and the Bouncing Souls as the first band out of New Brunswick, New Jersey to make it big.
John Barry - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Oops, JD, Michael. I meant Looking Glass--thanks for the clarification. Thanks also Alvin, Paul, Mason.
carol - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
lol good one 5's

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