I act very Cro Magnon, I claim; mate avers: "Neanderthal!"
Because I've got a sloping brow; my loping crowd meanders all
Over the landscape; we don't handshake, 'cause we must our knuckles pull
Along the ground, pants draggin 'round ankles 'cause they ain't bucklable.

I'm churlish around girls, I grab their curls; they're such a gas to pull.
My pad's painted with animal animations fantastical.
I went hunting for lunch and clubbed an ungulate; I got a moose
After it butted my nuts; I gutted it; and they've got a bruise.

After it butted my nuts; I gutted it; and they've got a bruise.
After it butted my nuts; I gutted it; and they've got a bruise.
After it butted my nuts; I gutted it; and they've got a bruise.

Uneven teeth aren't neat, uncleaned between, replete with calculus;
I need a mean hygiene Nazi to scream at me: "Sie SHALL toothbrush!!"
I'm short, club-wielding, unappealing, either meander 'r crawl,
For these and other displeasin' reasons I'm dubbed "Neanderthal."

I'm short, club-wielding, unappealing, either meander 'r crawl,
For these and other displeasin' reasons I'm dubbed "Neanderthal."

For my pastime I dab in lime, draw lines that look like bears on rocks.
My toes exposed feet cut and beat; my sweetheart bleats: "Please, wear some socks!"
She's cross because my posse's lost me; softly "So don't expect us,"
They tell her, she yells, "Sirs, I can't believe yer homo erectus!"

She vows to pique my low-peaked brow with highbrow thoughts: ontology;
I resist, kiss; she's pissed, hisses: "Desist, mister, on top o' me!"
I riposte, "My post's sloped to probe; me wanna poke it in gal more."
She retorts, "Sport, keep it in shorts, or you're gonna have kin galore!"

She retorts, "Sport, keep it in shorts, or you're gonna have kin galore!"
She retorts, "Sport, keep it in shorts, or you're gonna have kin galore!"
She retorts, "Sport, keep it in shorts, or you're gonna have kin galore!"

I eat dried peat off of my feet, which lets me feast on dirt 'n' corns.
Digesting this mess I ingest is my appendix vermiform;
I'm thankful when I'm tanked full of pebbles that it's not vestigial.
I get enough roughage from rocks but I might nosh a vegetable.

I'm thankful when I'm tanked full of pebbles that it's not vestigial.
I get enough roughage from rocks but I might nosh a vegetable.

A hunter-gatherer, I'm rather adept with the javelin,
Though when I've missed I am not pissed, I simply sift some gravel in
And munch it for lunch; it's crunchy and complements the hairy rat
I had for brunch, I had a hunch the truncheoned runt had nary fat.

A cloth of loin around my groin, I enjoin boys to hunt with me.
But they're lazy, and I'm crazy, they say; these punks are blunt with me.
I say a Sabertooth's nearby; a sneering guy cries back to me:
"That frightful, spiteful, mites-full beast looks like a feral cat to me!"

"That frightful, spiteful, mites-full beast looks like a feral cat to me!"
"That frightful, spiteful, mites-full beast looks like a feral cat to me!"
"That frightful, spiteful, mites-full beast looks like a feral cat to me!"

I'm so enraged that I'll engage an agèd sage to mentor me
About foreplay and the mores of the 21st century:
"You must mingle in a mainstream milieu, man, so meander mall-
Bound, till you've found and bond with folks who don't grope like Neanderthals."

I mingle with a mass of maniacs, whom I see stand 'r crawl
To grab gifts, and it seems to me as if they act Neanderthal.