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Song Parodies -> "Don't Be Ghoul"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Be Cruel"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Be Ghoul"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

No, please don’t come around
to my home when you’ve grown
into what will make a sound
that when intoned chills to the bone.
Don’t be ghoul, I am begging you!

Baby, you’re looking like Vlad,
and you’re filling me with dread.
I look on you aghast,
and it’s because you’re undead.
Don’t be ghoul. What am I to do?
You don’t want no other lunch,
tasting with your big fangs that go CRUNCH!

Don’t want drinking from me
in a jugular way.
Your canines primed to plumb me—
you’re not same as you are by day.
Don’t be ghoul. Would you please just shoo!
You’re a vampiric tart;
I guess, baby, I’ll have to stake your heart.

I’ll go and see the preacher
and get myself a cru-
cifix and rosary
and procure some garlic too.
Don’t be ghoul—I just can’t love you.
You don’t want no other lunch
that to suck my serum, a whole bunch.

Don’t be ghoul—gone astray have you.
Don’t be ghoul—go away, please do.
You have a nocturnal lunch;
tomorrow morn, you’ll get a stake punch.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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AFW - October 29, 2013 - Report this comment
This may awaken the ghost of Elvis....all these are right on seasonal, and written with your special JAB flair
Patrick - October 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Like the line about having to stake your heart. A couple weeks ago at the Ripley Museum, I saw a 19th Century vampire kit: small pistol with silver bullets, crucifix, holy water and a stake. Travelers took no chances back then. Most of the stuff could prove useful against modern-day blood suckers.

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