Toobin, thumbin’, thrummin’ junk on Zoom,
feelin’ self-pithiness start to bloom.

A range of faces are on chat together—
it’s not the place to engage in that pleasure.
Frankly, shouldn’t spank the monkey…shoulda been
movin’ off to a crowd-free venue…
do it privately at prow-ensue.

Unrobed probe post exposed for most to see,
eyes ogled striking at the pike freely.
And the scene: breaching breeches for the beat; he’s
tubin’ in a meeting seen on Zoom,
beating heat on a hot afternoon.
Oh, what a show!

Post-thumbing his junk, what’s he got to say?
“Sorry I shocked you with this stalk display.
I felt it, pardon, in a public way.
I was at apogee, causing apoplexy.”

Toobin and mate mitt should get a room,
not miff viewers with stiffness on Zoom.
Don’t grow then show!

’shew it: public junk cuff.
Pubic cuff-buff, uh-uh!