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Song Parodies -> "Don't Eat at the Subway"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Sleep in the Subway"

Original Performer:

Petula Clark

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Eat at the Subway"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Alvin Rhodes did a parody with the same title but took a diffferent approach. Tor Johnson, fat wrestler cum actor played by George "The Animal" Steele in "Ed Wood."
Your gut wanders 'round
And becomes much more round,
And you'll grow several sizes. . .44.
You'll waddle gamely.
"I let Jerrod shame me."
So you eat what says this once porky whore.

He showed big pants back from when he was cor-
pulent, a bloated mope who looked like Tor.

Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
You'll look like a porker, babe.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
That 12-inch long
With mayo on the side
Is all wrong,
'less you're astride me with labes.

You value your heart?
I suggest you be smart.
Or your girth will be greatly inflated.
You'll increase your size,
When you find that your eyes
Are bigger than your tummy—it's sated.

Good bites at this place; you won't find, you know;
It's all pretend, just huckster-sellin' show.

Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
You'll have to be portaged, babe.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
That stringy thong
Will dig into your sides;
A sarong
You'll need to hide that weight gain.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Wish I'd thought of this one. Wait a minute, I did, five years ago: But any swipe at Subway is on the A-OK Train with me. Or, considering my New York roots, the Number 5 Train. (The Lexington Avenue Express.)
Harry - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job, John! Now, I don't wanna go down to the basement (Ramones) or to the subway! All 5s.
alvin - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
love wife managed a subway for nearly 10 years...been to tor's grave !
Below Average Dave ( - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Subway is over-priced and they short you on meat, nice dig into them, not enough people target their over-rated food.
Peregrin - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Can't go near Subways, whatever they put in the bread rolls is really on the nose. This parody isn't though, JAB. Good job.
AFW - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
A bun of fun...and I agree about not eating at Subway

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