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Song Parodies -> "Cooked The Books, Hired a 'Consultant,' His Wife"

Original Song Title:

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"

Original Performer:

Monty Python

Parody Song Title:

"Cooked The Books, Hired a 'Consultant,' His Wife"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Pump and dump: artificially inflate the price of a stock and sell it before the scam is discovered.
Some business types are bad,
Their shareholders have been had.
When they see how bad, they need a nurse.
An SEC epistle. . .
Tell dumb twits
We've been chiseled.
Here's how this guy got us into this mess:

Cooked the books, hired a "consultant," his wife
Cooked the books, hired a "consultant," his wife

His gains were all ill-gotten
He's Danish; things were rotten.
Absconded with what rappers call "bling bling."
They've made us feel like chumps,
By doing "pumps and dumps."
We curse them and we bristle
At their sting, scam.

Cooked the books, hired a "consultant," his wife
Cooked the books, hired a "consultant," his wife

This guy's a shite, a turd
Our debts cannot be purged.
It's curtains for our company right now.
We can't give this good spin;
Media types have dug in.
Bart Simpson's wrong, we will now have a cow.

We find we're on the wrong side of debt
Hiring this nerd'll have been a bad bet.

Guy's a piece of shit
He was on our tit.
He laughs to the bank; we sit and rue.
So this just goes to show:
When you're staffing, take it slow
A background check's the first thing you should do.

Cooked the books, hired a "consultant," his wife
(Repeat to fade)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff, John - great syllable-matching as usual, and I loved the inspired "He's Danish; things were rotten" - 555
Paul Robinson - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, JB, but I like the way you tell the tale here...BTW - while at my last job had an opportunity to see an actual Tax Return from one of Enron's many Partnerships(some data in the return wasn't flowing where the accountant thought it should, so my task was to see why and try and make it go there - or explain to him why he was incorrect)...of course if any 'cooking' had been done it was already in the data and would be indistinguishable from "actual"...and besides, to say anything beyond the fact that I looked at the return would probably cause me trouble...but this was after the scandal started to break so it did give me cause to wonder about the numbers I was looking at...
alvin rhodes - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
clever concept...5s
Johnny D - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm smilin', AND SO ARE MY FIVES !!!
John Barry - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, JD, Paul (there's a documentary about Enron called "The Smartest Guys in the Room"; I hear it's very good).
Paul Robinson - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for reminding me about that 'doc', I had heard about it and meant to check it out. ~ ~ ~
MrMacphisto - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I've seen the Enron movie; it's very good, just like this parody.... 5,5,5

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