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Song Parodies -> "He Drinks Red Bull"

Original Song Title:

"He's a Rebel"

Original Performer:

The Crystals

Parody Song Title:

"He Drinks Red Bull"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

See the way he hops down the street
So fast—he ain’t shufflin’ his feet.
My, he holds his head up high,
A crazed look in his eye,
A spry guy.

He’s got shaky hands, and he’s loud;
He’s a man who just won’t be cowed.
Moves from a hop, then he runs,
A dizzying display, his buns,
And here is what makes him this way:

He drinks Red Bull,
And he talks a lot faster then he should.
He drinks Red Bull,
It’s that wretched, wretched swill that’s not good.
This mug’s no slug—he cuts the rug
Like somebody’s who’s on drugs,
That’s the reason why he’s as hot as a spark plug.

He reeks of energy,
Never sleeps, no entropy
’cause he guzzles Red Bull, mo’, mo’, mo,
He guzzles Red—slow, slow, slow? Not he!

Some folks think that he should stay
From that acidic shit away
And gravitate instead to a café au lait.

He drinks Red Bull,
And he walks a lot faster then he should.
He drinks Red Bull,
So it’s never ever still that he’s stood.
This mug’s no lug—he cuts the rug
Like somebody slugging drugs,
That’s the reason why—he’s had too many a chug.

He’s rife with energy,
Sometimes displays enmity
’cause he guzzles Red Bull, mo’, mo’, mo,
He guzzles Red—go, go, go does he!

He guzzles Red Bull. Coke? Oh no!
Coke’s so slow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Red Bull = "Speed" in a can. No need for you to are at the top of your game. ;D
Andria - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Great as usual... I like energy drinks despite most of them tasting like medicine, and I drank 8 to 12 a day at one point. Now I only drink them in sugar-free, low-carb form before a workout. 555
LadyBull-on-Rouge - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
I love this , SirSweaty, alias ~Colonel UberSchlong~ ! . . . . " Oh, he's a BadBug, and he'll never, ever be any good ! He's a bedBug 'cuz all he does is . . . . `knock on wood ' . . . . . . Jumps on board the sirSweaty; makes ' his play in 1 - 2 - 3 ' . . . . ohh, he's my bedBug and his Schlong belongs to me . . . oh, meee . . . oh, meee
Mark Scotti - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
They're great for getting me through the long drive to my daughter's college...555 MPH!

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