Heavy body got monster feet,
Couple of scurrilous guys say, "It's sweet!
We got the real thing, minus heat,
In the deep-freeze, and it's near complete."
They're Bigfootin', they're Bigfootin',
They're Bigfootin', they're Bigfoolin'.

Found some not-smarties--they ain't too bright;
Long, tall Sasquatch is their delight.
Then they threw 'way big time to these sleazers loot;
Press stooges come out for a photo shoot,
And they're Big shootin', yeah, they're Big shootin'
After Big shooting, they'll get big foot. . . .

Then simple churls get the dreck mess thaw'n';
They test the scam "Bigfoot" dusk to dawn.
Inside its craw's possum DNA. . .
But as the ice starts to melt away. . .
A big rookin' o' dim shnooks, 'n'
The thing's cookin'; dimwits took in.

Then the simpletons start to rue-
There ain't no Bigfoot 'n' it's a big-fool screw.
Yeti and SETI, scams too. . .
Lots o' big fools, 'n' Barnum, proverb* spoke true.
They been took in, by big suit in
A fridge. . .tucked in. Dim fish hooked in.
There's big fools 'n' they get took in
With big rookin's. A big fool 'n'
His big loot been real quick crookened.


*A fool and his money are soon parted.