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Song Parodies -> "Dance? Gams Can’t"

Original Song Title:

"Dance, Dance, Dance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Dance? Gams Can’t"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I look like a damn fool, and so I stay away
from anything that has style and just lamely sashay.
I cannot dance (dance, gams can’t; a hoofer I am not) I can’t do squat!
(gams can’t dance; a trouper I am not).
My feet ain’t too hot
(gams shan’t dance; I don’t move feet a lot).
Dance? Can’t. Dance? Can’t! Dance?! Can’t!! Naw.

If I put feet down and try to make my shoes click,
they floor-stick when I try. This makes me so close to sick!
I cannot dance (I can’t dance; a trouper I am not) I can’t do squat!
(dance I can’t; a trouper I am not).
My feet ain’t too hot
(gams can’t dance; I don’t move feet a lot).
Dance? Can’t. Dance? Can’t! Dance?! Can’t!! Naw.

I get weakened gams; so that is why I’ve passed.
So, ’scuse me, I gotta go from where dancers have massed.
I cannot dance (dance, gams can’t; a prancer I am not) I can’t do squat!
(gams can’t dance; a dancer I am not).
My feet ain’t too hot
(gams can’t dance; I don’t move feet a lot).
Dance? Can’t. Dance? Can’t! Dance?! Can’t!! Naw.

Dance? Gams can’t; foot injuries I’ve wrought;
new shoes must be bought;
they’ve cost me a lot.
Dance? Can’t. Dance? Can’t! Dance?! Can’t!! Naw.

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