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Song Parodies -> "Sucking Newt"

Original Song Title:

"Substitute"

Original Performer:

The Who

Parody Song Title:

"Sucking Newt"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Generally I’m staying away from the political. But there’s so much fodder out there, sometimes it’s hard to resist. This was prompted in part by a blog posting I saw recently: Newt Gingrich Is Off His Meds…Actually that’s putting it politely. It would be more accurate to say Newt Gingrich is crazy. Not ‘crazy as a …’, just plain, flat out crazy. Insane. In dire need of being locked up and subjected to psychotherapy, or possibly electroconvulsive therapy, you know – shock and awe.
This thing’s a rude petty stooge who’s feckless
And not adhering to his meds mess.

This thing is sucking Newt, who’s a nutso guy;
This kook loudly bawls, what he needs ain’t nigh.
His shtik is windy bray squalls pompous-inflated;
He looks pretty plump, butt-big putz snack-sated, yeah.

Sucking Newt snorts lies for facts;
You can see right through his sad attacks;
The guy ain’t right; he is beyond cracked—
Opines worthless views that veer off on a strange tack.

He was born as a babbling loon with wide mouth;
He’s from the country’s mezzanine,
But his raving sounds like south.

And when his blaring stops, back roll his eyes;
No crocodile tears John-esque he’ll cry
And with no problem continue to lie.
Dude’s turpitude appalls,
When meds aren’t nigh, head will fry.

Sucking Newt, need for him,
Sucking Newt, is less than slim,
Sucking Newt, don’t want this con
To be back there in Washington.

Don’t bring back sucking Newt, who’s a drugger guy.
This kook loudly squalls, what he needs ain’t nigh.
The idjit things he says are unmedicated—
He looks pretty strung out as if crack-sated, yeah.

Don’t bring back snuggling Newt, non-spouse lover guy.
Cut loose, proudly balled as his wife did die
Some chick to whom the sleaze was not marriage-mated.
Him as morals model that’s iron’-plated, yeah.

So now slack struggling Newt says what made him lie
With cooze he “prowedly” balled, left his wife to die,
Was his patriotism that’s unabated—
Love of country caused him to get crack-sated, yeah.

He’ll suborn as a PAC-shtik goon with bribe mouth.
When the guy pours down thorazine,
Then some craziness goes south.

When his blaring won’t stop it means the guy
Ain’t popped his chlorpromazine, that’s why.
Cuz his polarity is known as “bi”;
Dude’s burping out a squall
’cause meds aren’t nigh, head will fry

Sucking Newt, please keep him,
Sucking Newt, from moving in,
Sucking Newt, don’t want this con
To be back there in Washington.

Drugging Newt will lay him back;
He won’t seethe as much and might go slack.
The guy ain’t right, he is beyond wack;
This mind-losing stupe need get sedated…and fast!






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Total Votes: 2

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - April 19, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - Careful, or the Republican Godfather will put a "Contract With America" on you. ;D
John Barry - April 19, 2011 - Report this comment
At least during the "Contract" days we had a balanced budget.
No More Contracts On America! - April 20, 2011 - Report this comment
A real good parody. I didn't know about this recent info, tho. I did see the Grinch on TV - he was a guest speaker for the 700 Club and he said right there oh so smugly that when he and his cohorts were impeaching Slick Willie Clinton HE WAS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE HIMSELF. It should be obvious what the Sex-gate hearings and his hobnobbing with Pat Robertson was all about. Later on Newt got his divorce and married his lover. Then he "converted" to Roman Catholism "because she is one". I got the deed to the Golden Gate Bridge too. Newter Gingrich. He's a charlatan but you JAB are not. Keep up the excellent work.

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