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Song Parodies -> "I've Got the Bends, the Chokin' Starts"

Original Song Title:

"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?"

Original Performer:

Bee Gees

Parody Song Title:

"I've Got the Bends, the Chokin' Starts"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I could sink in shallow bays,
And spear me an alewife,
Go snorkeling and snag a clam or two.
But I had to go and borrow
Some scuba gear, and now I'm feeling sorrow.

I've got the bends, the chokin' starts,
I came up much faster than I went down.
How can I stop this nitrogening?
There's no chamber around.
This feels much worse than smokin, man!
I shouldn't scuba, but just swim.
Back down I'll have to go then start
Comin' up--slow--again.

I feel the pressure's squeeze
On my lungs, then I sneeze
And olfactory mist begins to rise.
I'm so hungry for a churro
But don't think I'll surface till tomorrow.

From my back end I blow a fart,
Meanwhile, topside, the sun has just gone down.
My crewmate's got no light for shinin'.
Upward the bubbles bound.
Because he is a smokin' man,
He's got matches. . .make things less dim.
He strikes a spark to light the dark--
The blast nearly kills him.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Rick C - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant, John! 555
alvin rhodes - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
disgustingly funny...5s
John Barry - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks much, Rick, Alvin.

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