I have a mangy monkey who hocks up then makes for genital.
His thumb's opposable, so he thumbs nose, thrums hose, gives gems a pull.
It's all exposed, it's al fresco, he's no ego, id shows. Gent will
When he's disposed to digits close 'round hose. . . door close and "post" sent'nel.

This primate's no shy ape; for privacy he ain't reverential.

Some say I should give 'way this scabrous ape that's scatological;
He rolls this logs and cuffs his schlong and rebuffs pedagogical
Attempts to school him: exempt tool from peremptory self-abuse,
The lesson; he'd not lessen his quest 'n' one day made yelp a moose.

He's hung up on those ungulates; cage-sprung, he'll lunge at elk and moose,
And when he's in the pen, he's his best friend and gives himself a goose.

Next day at 9:00, I gaped and spied he gave my canine pal a thrust;
I simmered, then a simple plan: get him simian gal to buss,
Then he could monkey 'round and not pound it until his pen is full,
To give him pause and gimp his paws from constant prods of genital.

Until that time I'll duck the slime that rimes my clime with phlegm spittle
That he emits; embittered he spits pips from a ripped veg'table.

To Africa I flew and snared an ape and gnu to share a box
To be transported; first I sported; shamed, I got a scare from crocs.
Before I left, I bored the cleft of an estrus* rhinoceros
By my best guess I'd been impressed by my chimp pest's phylum-crossed thrusts.

When I returned, he writhed and squirmed and yearned to set his "bobbin" free.
Then feral moans; those pheromones pronged him for a hot boffin' spree.
He raged about the cage and bade me, let that babe ape in the door.
Shriek simians ain't Simba's kin; Sim's leonine and din's a roar.

Chimps got no pride; I can't abide his snide simian sin galore. . .
Drives me inside and soon I've pried the tops off schnapps and gin galore.

I let her in; she met her kin, and he, Baboon-like, true to form
Jumped on her bones and humped and moaned, but soon his woo tune grew forlorn.
He hadn't hesitated to fornicate. . .pedal to metal,
But then on close inspection, he detected erect genital.

Shrieks heard, worse than my curses when vexed unsexed pet's excremental.

This monkey "belle" had no mons; swelled before "her" was a handle 'n'
He realized the piece he prized could likewise to some mandrillin'.
Each climbed a rope, each primed to mope and each yoked a choke lariat
Out of the hemp, each knout farklempt;** I expected a scary spat. . .

Admonished them; astonished then was I. That old saw "Monkey see,
Monkey do" changed to ". . .monkey screw"; the two moved in a rump-breach spree.
The moral of the story, it seems: no simian quim handy--
Just jam the handle up the manhole and mandrill a chimpanzee.

For his probin' proclivities. . .changed his handle, named him "Mandy."

These scruffy monkeys scoff at nature's laws--guess it was meant to be.
I emailed Malawi and had a female lemur sent to me.
Fibbin' to say I weren't givin' in to Gibbonish potential,
I moved in; we grooved then, post-pen frenzy my yen's penitential.

The vet suspects, inspects, detects desiccant: she's nonmenstrual.
D.A., DNA point my way; I swear it was consensual!


*rutting
**tight