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Song Parodies -> "Tainted Is the River"

Original Song Title:

"Take Me to the River"

Original Performer:

Talking Heads

Parody Song Title:

"Tainted Is the River"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I don’t know why they f**k up as they do. . .
opened up an unholy slough.
Far from funny, this is no jest—
but you can be sure, there’s no arrest.
The problem ain’t that it’s smelly. . .
a much worse way.

Tainted is the river, toxic is the water,
tainted is the river, sickly is the water,
orangy-bown, washing through town.

This water treatment is really bad.
And in this case, what is really sad:
the watchdogs were jerking off or at rest—
the alleged protectors have caused this mess.

A toxic flow that ain’t smelly. . .
a much worse way.
Tainted is the river, awful is the water.
Putzes pumped in river shit they shouldn’t oughta.
Toxic, unsound; toxics freed.

The release will fish-decease—swill
fills the swale that now ails. . .been assailed by tons of toxics.
Tainted is the river; horrible, the water.
Putzes pumped in water stuff that wrecks the water.
Orangy-brown, awful unsound.

I don’t know why they f**k up as they do. . .
caused the trouble this time—not Duke.
Irony is what this is called:
protectors are wreckers and the river’s mauled.

And even though they should tell me:
water’s OK. . .
figure they are fibbin’: toxic is the water.
Water unsound; watchdogs, what clowns.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   17

User Comments

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Timmy 1000 - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
it is strange when the protectors are the ones at fault; maybe it was the same group that had a meth lab at their laboratory.
Jonathan - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
save water drink Diet Pepsi (now aspartame free!) 5's
Leough - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Shouldn't someone make those responsible clean up the mess they made, using their own time and money?
Peregrin - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
I like it, JAB, sort of like an upscaled and more direct version of Albert Hammond's "Down By The River"
Meriadoc - August 26, 2015 - Report this comment
In my town (Akron) we are currently paying about $50. a month added to our water bills to clean Cleveland's river. They could probably clean it up more quickly if they'd just light it on fire again...

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