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Song Parodies -> "Mahler’s Faddah Markets Vodka"

Original Song Title:

"Hello, Muddah, Hello, Faddah"

Original Performer:

Allan Sherman

Parody Song Title:

"Mahler’s Faddah Markets Vodka"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

In Jihlava, Bernhard Mahler, Gustav’s father, wanted to deal in hard liquor production and sale…he marketed different types of spirits.—https://jihlava.cz
Mahler’s faddah markets vodka
in the Czech burg of Jihlava.
Damp and tasty when it’s draining
to the gullet…slug big gulps: brain and gut paining.

Spilling from still…proof streams higly;
guzzle much: upchuck, heave drily.
In order to make proof thinner,
it’s diluted to make you less of a sinner.

As I’ve stated, fare is tasty—
taste apace, face: gray and pasty.
At distill’ry, liquid’s thinning
will enable you to more explore the swigging.

It’s rumored, some Mahler arias
were tuned up when he was hairier
than the hound that had imparted
much relief after morning hangovers started.

“Stay the ‘prost!” coached Mahler’s faddah,
“brain may roast post-toasts with vodka.
Believe me: force down great gouts, beware:
might make you forge score chords impaired.

“Abate ‘prost.’ Just sip and don’t swill.
Please enjoy, but err sparingly, I enjoin.
That’s all I have to say.
Take it easy, OK?!”

“But, dear faddah…love your Vodka,
though perhaps I oughta stop, ja?
I’m working on a big symph’ny.
Till finished, I think I’d best be distilled-drinks-free.”

As a quitter, he was failing;
then his liver started ailing.
Moral: When you’re whistle-wetting,
tot lotsa shots o’ vodka—you’ll be regretting.

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