-> "California Wastin’"
Original Song Title:
"Californication"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"California Wastin’"
The Lyrics
High-fi guys from China
Buy the weal of this near-nation.
Dipshit churls are eating
High on the hog from taxation.
The state’s become a nightmare dream:
It’s California’ wastin’.
At the edge of the world
Are all the victims of Western privation.
The scum lie in the northeast,
That’s the beastly Sacramento’s location.
It’s understood: things don’t go good:
Hell’s California, wastin’.
Pay off cur-cons very well;
They make out swell, dough gauging.
Celebrity dick: as gov, just shtik,
A boxtoxed bore who’s aging.
Thirst-borne, water’s borne
Far for crops, corn.
Scheme for aquifers we’re wastin’,
Scheme for California wastin’.
Carry it, girl,* to the agribiz world;
Hope there’s enough for conflagrations.
Not keen to ride—on the freeways, collide;
Getting high on ozonation.
Folks drivin’ by car ’round the block—not far,
It’s California wastin’.
Spaced out on the fault-line frontier,
Ready-made for a Hollywood treatment
Of eruption in the sphere
And the crust’s reorientation:
The coast is gone; there’s a new bay
It’s California wastin’.
Scorned, not praised, by those who raise
A voice for moderation.
People leaving permanently—not on a vacation.
Thirst-borne, water’s borne
Far for crops, corn.
Scheme for water wars we’re hast’nin’,
Scheme for California wastin’.
Construction dearth means there’s many rough roads—
No hope of pavement salvation.
When earthquakes start, more folks will depart
To the final destination.
We tithe the snakes who just make things worse:
Capitol delegation.
Payments surged when things went well:
Revenue from taxation.
Shit then hit the fan and now were damn
Near like a third-world nation
Much like the longhorn
State we once scorned.
Streams of Californians hast’nin’,
Screamin’, “California’s wastin’.
*Sen. Dianne Feinstein, literally the water carrier for big, subsidized, inefficient, wasteful agribusiness.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 3.7 | |
How Funny: | 4.3 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.3 | |
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Total Votes: | 3 |
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