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Song Parodies -> "I Am Defrocked"

Original Song Title:

"I Am a Rock"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"I Am Defrocked"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I sinned away,
put in many marks my member.
Didn’t atone.
They then got me winnowed from the priestly show.
I’m a fallen cleric, hounded where I go.

I am defrocked;
I am exilin’.

Behind walls
I bored altar boys nightly.
No nuns I’d penetrate.
I offered phony friendship, spend-wicking my game.
I had to do it; I could not abstain.

So I’m defrocked
for my defilin’.

Still frocked I loved
many boys, then many more.
Went creeping through dormitories.
Then I disturbed the slumber of wee ones…got inside.
So much cleric love that for years did abide.

Then church took stock;
payoffs were pilin’.

Used the good book
as a rationale for my sex sprees.
For years, shielded were we harmers.
Writhing in boys’ rooms, underneath the moon.
I touched ’em much; Vatican succored me.

So I’m defrocked;
Pope’s givin’ smile spin.

In a frock I caused pain
for a lot of little guys.

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User Comments

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Patrick - June 30, 2020 - Report this comment
I spent a lot of years in Catholic schools and never experienced or saw such behavior. Nor any circumstance where a priest could have carried out such an outrage. I don't deny that things like that happened. I'm just reporting my own experience. A classmate from High School did tell me years later of being forced to fight another boy on a Saturday while in detention. Not a sexual offense, but still quite disturbing. Maybe I was just lucky.

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