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Song Parodies -> "Don't Cryo- Me, Angelina"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Cry for Me, Argentina"

Original Performer:

Evita soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Cryo- Me, Angelina"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

This submission for "Brangelina" is a fanciful speculation about what might have prompted bad blood between AJ and her dad, Jon Voight, and how she might plot revenge. Ted Williams' son had his dad's head deep-frozen (cryognenized).
It's kind of freaky; in fact, deranged--
Don't want to know how Ted Williams feels.
I don't want my pate placed in a nitrogen tun,
So please don't freeze me.
Cryogeny I don't think has been proved. . .
Not like freezing a stem-cell line.
I don't want my noggin removed--

My head's to put a hat on. We've been estranged;
Dad-daughter tensions were mounting.
You claim that I wanted you to be born as a son
And thus I eased you
Out of my life, 'cause you didn't want to
Play with me and hit a baseball
Like Ted, whom I loved more than you.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina.
Don't make me of head bereft; you
Won't cut it away
When my existence
Has ceased; please promise,
There's no excisions.

You have attained great fortune and fame,
Though your repertoire's pretty thin.
And now you're angry, girl, at me, by whom you're sired.
In great profusion
You cranked out illusions cinematically,
But none of them nearly as fine
As "Cowboy" with Dustin and me.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina.
We each have a statuette; you
Got supporting, hey!
Not bad! You're pissed at
My big "best" Oscar--
You've always dissed that.

So let's keep in touch.
Listen, I know that in the future you want to
Reanimate my head, so to taunt me.
But I now love Ted less than you.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
not only do I love it JAB, it makes a perfect pair with my contribution about Brad telling Jon V he can go and **** himself - great stuff - (link going on the Brangelina thread now) - 555
Royce Miller - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Very imaginative.
alvin rhodes - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
does ted's head still sport a sox cap ? ...just wondering out loud...5s
Stephen Harrington - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
555, this ones a new twist. ^___^
Kristof Robertson - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
That's gotta be the most way-out Brangelina parody anyone could come up with, John. Terrific. 555
Matthias - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, with these songs... (Expessially this one John)... I'd love to see Brangelina- An Amiright Musical on Stage!!! 5-5-5, your ahead above the rest!
John Barry - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Stuart, thanks, and thanks for the "Brangelina" project. Thanks, too, Royce, Alvin, Stephen, Kristof, and Matthias.
2Eagle - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
"Some Day we'll all thaw out." "Old Hollywood will walk about." "I'll be ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille...."
Larry Hensley - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Very interesting, 5s
Red Ant - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent parody here John, and I agree with Kristof.
Rick C - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, John! Sounds like Angie wants to tomb-raid the fridge here. 555
Cat - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
All right, who gave this a 1 for humor and overall?!? This is a work of genius, John.

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