Thank god for the name: podiatry
These docs work on feet—not your face
Drop something on your toe—it can be gory,
Leading sometimes to narcotics ingestion.

Ow! Pods* make toes straight.
Ow! Make you walk good.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

What a gob of ungual* pus.
My toe throbs—it needs a truss.
Unwatched danger made me bust
The nail and the big-toe bone.

I'm at the pod's place.
"What does it look like?"
He asks, as he probes me.
And when he stops it give me such great relief
In my size 7; if he eases the pain,
He's worth his profits.

Ow! Pods make toes straight.
Ow! Make you walk good.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

What a gob of ungual pus.
My toe throbs—it needs a truss.
Unwatched danger made me bust
The nail and the big-toe bone.
The nail and the big-toe bone.
Broken size 7 makes me moan.
When it first snapped, I fell down, prone.
But there's hope I'll still lope and roam.

[Repeat last two verses]


*Pods: abbreviation of podiatrists; ungual: referring to nails, claws, hoofs.