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Song Parodies -> "As Promised, He Is Granting Schmoes Pardons"

Original Song Title:

"I Never Promised You a Rose Garden"

Original Performer:

Lynn Anderson

Parody Song Title:

"As Promised, He Is Granting Schmoes Pardons"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

He’s granting pardons
to real and oughta-be prison-yard cons.
Some of them did some time,
but with this he’s trying to expunge crime.
On the take, most of these dicks, but he did the trick
to let these gross schmoes go.
He’s granting pardons
to true and oughta be prison-yard cons.

He has promised to bring them a prison-spring,
and now their well-deserved time-serving days are over;
they’ll be out, smelling the clover.
It’s a sleaze-scofflaw crew, now they’ll start anew,
all of whom fit nicely into the criminal pattern—
more than a few slatterns.
Post-trial they can smile; they got the calling,
even though they’re all very galling…
didn’t spend nearly enough time in the can.

He’s granting pardons
to a batch of ragged prison-yard cons.
Some of them did some time
but with this he’s trying to expunge crime.

He’s granting pardons
to echt and oughta be prison-yard cons.

Likely there’ll be more goons who will get a break soon,
’cause there’s a pretty big ahole crew
that never should be let go.
Some of it’s just a distraction show.
Just take a good look at these creeps, near as bad as Veep
of Dubya, most egregious fake-intelligence lout…
think you know whom I’m talkin’ about.
He smiles crooked style and is appalling
He too should have had prison calling.
With his fake heart, he’s a vampire, not a man.

De facto pardon
kept him from being a prison-yard bum.

Many unpunished crimes
have been and still are a sign of the times.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

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