-> "I Feel Pain"
Original Song Title:
"It Will Rain"
Parody Song Title:
"I Feel Pain"
It is grieving me like crazy—
give me morphine—lots then more.
Because I’ll need a lot of medication
to quickly and effectively salve
If my religion used peyote,.
I would go to the medicine man and score
But you see: One problem there is that I’m an atheist.
Long time ago I tried
the god gambit, but it was a bore.
I was in a gunfight…
got a 30-30
slug clear through my thigh.
Now I rue like crazy…
screaming quite loud.
My thigh is rather maimed, and it bleeds away.
Gotta say that I feel pain.
Yeah, it hurts like a motherf**ker;
a tourniquet I have already applied.
Oooh, but it really don’t soothe, and it does lots more than sting…
more painful that the time I hurled
wine, beer, grape juice, and apple pie.
And to complicate things, a band saw went through my hand.
And I don’t have to tell you: It don’t feel fine!
My hand’s a red hue; I cry and cry and cry.
Compound fracture in other leg, and IT’S bleeding!
It kinda looks like wine.
None of this a fun sight:
all these hurt-me hurties.
Did I note: my eye
was poked by some crazy
guy screaming loud?
Reminded me of maimed Curly, who would say,
“Moe, abate that! I feel pain!”
So let’s count: shot thigh,
got poked in the eye,
leg broken in several places,
hand is bleeding
from saw teeth sharp as tines.
I would love to run right
to where there’s a gurney,
jump on it and glide
to where they would take me
in, give a gown.
I’m forgetting the name of the place where they
operate and repeal pain.
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
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