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Song Parodies -> "Alito"

Original Song Title:

"Alley Oop"

Original Performer:

Hollywood Argyles

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

There's a man whose name's in the papers. . .we now know:
Add "S-C" and it sounds just like "Scalito,"
He is a judge, but so was Lance Ito
Lance Ito-to-to-to-to.
This man's name is Sam Alito.

It looks like he's a reactionary dinosaur,
He's the latest knucklehead to knock on Congress' door,
He might want to try some plugs to supplant missing hair,
Look more like Tony; give bigger scares,

He may be quite lucky to survive;
The Committee'll eat him alive;
If he treats them to jumbled jive,
Like Miers--had to go.

The slow-wit quickly jumps on a new nominee,
To distract us all from Cheney, Libby,
Wag Fido-do-do-do-do.
He's waggin' the dog; bite, the presses
There they go-go-go-go-go.
While he keeps gettin' the country into right-wing messes,
Alkie, blow-blow-blow-blow-blow.

He may be quite lucky to survive;
The Committee'll eat him alive,
Sandy goes,
He'll round out a Cro Magnon five
If he's given the go.

Alito, he'd be a caveman Bro,
Like Antonin, ain't he?
He'll be lap-doggin'
Kiss Tony's butt
Like Clarence, but
Not a dumb dinosaur.
Jive, Sammy, jive.
You're a man--
Where's chicksville?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Ravyn Rant - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't decide which line I like better: "He is a judge but so was Lance Ito", or "He'll round out a Cro Magnon five". Either way, three fives from me.
alvin rhodes - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
i sang along...5s
Michael Pacholek - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't matter which line of John's I like better, 'cause he's a mean motor-scooter and a bad go-getter. (In fact, I was considering "Alley-Oop" for a Scooter Libby parody, but it didn't work.) From what I've seen, Alito is, uh, supremely qualified, highly intelligent, and a decent guy. He's even a baseball fan. The only problem is, he's right-wing enough for a delusional fanatic like Gary Bauer. That's the only problem. And, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
John Barry - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ravyn, Alvin. And Michael, for today's and yesterday's plaudits.
Lurker - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
That's ... JUSTICE Samuel A. Alito (guaranteed). Even the ultra-lib morons whom you adore voted for him twice (when previously confirmed). He received 100 votes each time and much praise -- even from Ted "Cape Cod Orca" Kennedy, Frank Lousyburg, and others. This will cause lots of 4-5 losses of the past (caused by Sandie) to become 5-4 victories for the cause of true justice. Then true Americans will look forward to the replacement of the 85-year-old Bowtied Bungler (in 2006 or 2007), so that many poor, innocent, defenseless babies' lives will be saved in most states. I laughed my head off yesterday picturing Barry (et al.) reading about 91-year-old Rose Alito, speaking of her son and saying, "Of course he's against abortion!" FANTASTIC!
Immoral Liberal - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Lurker, you may not want to count your babies before they're born - you certainly don't support them after they're born. Scalito may not be as much of a sure thing as you think. Dubya genuflecting to the god squad is just another nail in his coffin; afterall, even the "mainstream" GOP believes that the fascist right is ruining the party. Any nomination that is blessed by Pat Roberton is suspect. Lurker, have you no respect for the Constitution? Have you no understanding regarding the tyranny of the majority? (as the majority, we're not imposing our views on you). First of all, a test case on Roe v. Wade won't be up this year - so you're just going to have to pray that it happens next year. By the way, True Americans are not pro Theocracy. Enjoy the kool aid. The right to privacy will prevail. Keep on prayin' - sucker.
Lurker - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
That's ... Prayer in School ... Ten Commandments in every courthouse ... an end to abortion ... true Americans know that the ultra-lib morons are anti-God.
Michael Pacholek - November 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Oy vey... No, I.L., he has no respect for the Constitution. Alito does, but I'm not convinced of his interpretation thereof. Certainly, he seems decent enough to deserve, if not a spot on the court, better defenders than Smirker. Guaranteed? What are you, Joe Namath? What do we get if he doesn't get on? "True justice"? What you want isn't true and it isn't justice. The only 80+ bungler on the court just got replaced by John Roberts, a minimal improvement at best. Defenseless babies? How about medical insurance-less babies? You don't give a damn about them. And your stance on prenatal care will result in a lot of them dying at birth, you stinking hypocrite. As for Alito's mom, maybe she can get together with Al D'Amato's mom and write an Italian cookbook. I'd sample that before I'd sample the family's politics. The fact that I find Judge (at least for now) Alito likeable, intelligent and qualified doesn't change the fact that -- forget the psychopathic Robertson and Bauer -- BUSH likes him, which makes him him an ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Lurker - November 02, 2005 - Report this comment
The comment posted November 01, 2005, at 5:35:01 PM was by an impostor. You will always be able to tell that a "Lurker" post is by me, because it will be reasonable and show intelligence, unlike the phony post (by a dimwitted teeny-bopper or ultra-liberal) that was designed to discredit me. Here is what I really believe, which varies quite a bit from the impostor ... I'm not in favor of "prayer in [public] school," though a brief time for optional silent prayer seems reasonable. I've never sought "Ten Commandments" in courthouses, but if the locals want it, that's fine. Over 60% of Americans (including a higher percentage of women than men!) favor the re-criminalization of about 95% of all abortions done in America. (That's a start.) Not all "ultra-liberals" are "anti-God."
Immoral Liberal - November 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Facist Lurker - I believe the correct style is "more than" not "over" - just want to help you show intelligence. When arbitrarily throwing out numbers, you might want to quote your source. My guess is that these numbers came from some ultra-rightwing fascist type organization - you know, Christian Exodus or Pat Robertson's or Gary Bauer's outlets. So, I don't buy anything that you're selling here. Also, you might just want to take a look at Scalito's writings at Princeton - specifically his work on "privacy" - he believes that there is a right to privacy. He was "chairman of a student conference that not only urged the legalization of sodomy, but also curbs on domestic intelligence." (NY Daily News - 11/3, p. 22). As a Princeton Senior he wrote, "no private sexual act between consenting adults should be forbidden." (same article). Now this should worry you (especially since he omits the word "animals" when referring to sexual acts. And - I know this will be tough for you to swallow - that would mean he's pro gay rights. (Does this mean he's going to hell? Doesn't the bible condemn gay sex? You may have another Souter on your bench. Enjoy your kool-aid and your mule.

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